My Other Half
by Pepper07
Summary: A tramatic event has alterted JD's way of life and has him questioning his ability to regain his old self. While he's struggling to adapt to his situation he doubts his capabilites and new found feelings. Can he handle it? JD/Cox...maybe..;
1. A funny thing happened at the park

Forgine me what for what is abou to unfold. But this has been stuck in my head for a while and it really needed to come out. BTW this is my first Scrub fic! Suggestion are very welcomed.

Falmes will be ignored :D

ENJOY!!!

**Disclaimer: I do not own scrubs. My if I did my life would be complete :3**

My stomach flutters nervously as I look at the man in front of me. My throat is dry, hands clammy from sweat. Cool autumn wind caresses me, sending a nervous chill down my spine. I suppress the urge to wrap my arms around my self, because I didn't want the heartless being in front of me to see any sign of weakness. It seems so silent around us, like there's no one else in the universe but him and me.

This can't be delayed any longer. I've got to choose. Not just choose, but make the right choice. If I get this wrong, then everything would be for nothing. I would fail. A sticky bead of sweat rolls down my forehead. But I can do this. Dr. John Dorian can do anything! I take a shallow breath, my mind sets on the goal I have made.

The man rolls his eyes, supporting his head in his hand as he leans on the off-white counter. "Dude, are you going to get a snow cone or not. There's a line forming."

I frown at the apparent barbarian; my eyes search the messily written flavors on the marker board frantically. You can't just order any snow cone flavor! You have to put thought into it! I know Turk favors Cherry and Grape; but which one fits his attitude today. Hmm it is a very bright day, even though it's a bit chilly…

"Come on dude! Hurry up!"

"Wait your turn kid!" I yell at the eight-year-old behind me, "And learn some manners, jeez parents theses days," I turn to the man frowning in the vending cart, "they just let their children run ramped."

"Okay…," I say noticing the bearded man inside the small Cone Blizzard cart looking irritated. "I'll have one bubble gum and one….cherry!"

The snow cone man doesn't look too thrilled by my order, but I know my Chocolate Bear will be! Snow cones are a perfect way to end a nice, peaceful day off from Sacred Heart; especially since it's been the first time in months since we've both had a day off on the same day. No Carla, no Elliot, no Dr. Cox or Janitor or patients. It's just me and my best friend.

"What a stupid sissy." I hear one of kids mumble loudly behind me.

"Excuse you?" I ask while whirling around to look at the young child, "And what is so sissy?"

"You are getting bubble gum! That's a girly flavor!" He points accusingly.

I roll my eyes at him, leaning against the counter chuckling. "Well obviously you aren't very good at math young man. If you hadn't noticed, I ordered _two_ snow cones. Did it ever occur to you that I might be ordering a one for my girlfriend?"

"Well…." He mumbles.

"BAM!" I say throwing out my hand for effect, "In your face!" The fact that I had no girlfriend and that I was actually buying one for my married male best friend didn't really matter. I had just schooled this cocky little bastard.

"Here," The snow cone man said holding the delicious ice treats in his meaty hands. He shoved them in my direction. "1.50."

"Here you go!" I give him the money and he gives me a scowl- or it could have been a smile it as hard to tell with such a scary looking guy- and I walked off, searching for where ever Turk had decided to sit in the large expanded park.

In truth it was a good thing to finally get a break from the hospital-not just for some quality time- but to get away from all the craziness that has happen in the last month; some good and some….not so.

First Molly, the exceedingly- _whoa that's the biggest squirrel I've ever seen_- hott though not always there psychiatrist, came back from her fellowship and is now a permanent member of the Scared Heart Staff; which is actually one of the few good things that have happen at the hospital. Elliot and Carla are happy to have their friend back, and it's always nice to have extremely attractive girlfriends surrounding you.

The disaster that's happening in the hospital involves Dr. Cox and his ex wife Jordan. They've been at each other's throats for almost everything. Perry didn't change Jack's diaper; Jordan didn't do the laundry, one of them faked an orgasm….the list goes on. Whenever they cross paths at the hospital it like WW3 brakes out. The two have finally separated, for good this time; and now they're switching off Jack by their work schedules. Needless to say my mentor has not exactly been a ball of sunshine towards anyone…..namely me. I understand that he doesn't know how to release stress except for being a Dick-hole, but being Cox's punching bag is not an attention I want.

I take a bite of my snow cone, pink flavoring dripping on my chin, eyeing the beautiful orange sky as the sun makes its way slowly out of the sky and behind the trees. There's no need to worry about any of that now! Today has been nothing but relaxing, sleeping till noon, watching Cheer's, eating at our favorite pizza place. And now were going to eat some delicious snow cones and enjoy the sunset! Everything is been perfect.

Suddenly I feel something cold press against my back, a hand gripping arm painfully. My stomach knots nervously. Maybe I thought too soon.

"If this about saying that kid didn't have any manners, I was just kidding."

"Be quiet and do as I say." A voice whispers in my ear while the object, which could only be a gun, presses harder into the lower of my back. I bite my lip and nod, too afraid to trust my voice. He twists me around and we walk back the way I had just come.

The two cones began dripping in my hands, which were shaking so hard I was amazed I didn't drop them. My eyes scan the area, praying that my best friend was somewhere near by, and would see me. God Turk! Where the hell can you be! It's like a damn Where's' Waldo picture book out here!

"Stare straight ahead." The stranger hisses harshly in my ear. "Your friend's waiting for you on the other side of the park, John, so he's not going to save you."

A jolt of fear shoots through my entire body, my feet skidding in the wet grass, blades sticking to the sides of them. "How do you know my name?" I gasp, sweat building on my forehead. Don't panic JD, don't panic, stop panicking!

The gun digs deeply into my back, making me wince in pain. "Keep walking!'" he hisses, "And get rid of these!" with his free hand he knocks away my snow cones, the contents spilling across the ground beside me. Aww man, I didn't even get to eat much of it!

The man keeps pushing me forward, towards a group of trees near the end of the park. Oh God, oh God, oh _shit_! This guys going to mug me, kill me, and then leave my body to rot in the woods where some poor child will find my corpse weeks later!

I'm trembling with terror. My heart rams against my chest, making my lungs feel compressed and God it is so hard to breathe. Cold sweat now lines my face and dampens my hair. I attempt to close my eyes and regain a calming breath, but all this only caused the barrel cutting into my flesh push father into my back.

We walk further and further away from the people, none of them noticing the lethal weapon lodged into my spine. They seem too interested in watching the girl that fell off the monkey bars crying, or the irritated owner trying to keep up with the large lab that just ran pass us, or spying on the young couple kissing passionately on the bench not a few feet away. They all seem too busy with their own lives to even realize that mines in mortal danger.

When were right at the entrance to the small forest he releases his hold on me and nudges me forward. My foot catches a root and I trip falling down a small hill. I roll down, my back hitting a tree and momentarily knocking the breath out of me. I look up from my sideway position, seeing the stranger for the first time.

My fearful expression changes into confusion. He doesn't look threatening at all. He is handsome actually, with dark brown hair that hung slightly in his face. His attire is normal, a button up green shirt with khaki's and a black wool trench coat, a matching dark green scarf over his neck. As he slides down the slope towards me, I estimate that he was probably Dr. Cox's age, maybe a year or so younger. I gaze up at the man confused. He doesn't look like someone who would hurt anybody.

He stands above me and it's the tightly held hunger in his dark hazel eyes that forces me back into the reality of how much danger I was in.

Quickly I try standing, but I find the butt of the gun buried in my stomach, air pushing roughly out of my throat. I slowly fall to my knees, wet dirt staining my jeans. My back leans against the tree coughing until I'm able to take a breath.

The man kneels down in front of me slowly with a calm smile as if he hadn't drug me through the park with a gun against my back. "Sorry about being so rough, I just need to make sure that you were going to cooperate."

I press closer to the tree, a chill settling into my stomach. "What do you want from me?" I say in a high pitched squeak. I inwardly curse, because my voice sounded so weak and afraid.

His scarred hand reaches for my shoulder and I tried hard not to flinch as it makes contact. "You'll learn in time," he mumbles, his eyes studying my face intently. A smile spreads across his face, as if he found something funny. "Besides if I told you, it would ruin the surprise. And that's never fun now is it?"

_This isn't either!_

The man's hand finds its way to my face, probing at it. His fingers are callused and cold, his touches uncomfortable. I try inching away, but his other hand latches onto my right shoulder, pinning me to the tree roughly.

A whimper escapes my throat, his rough fingers leaving my face and traveling down my arm, griping it tightly. He does the same with my legs, mumbling franticly under his breath. I'm only able to catch a few words, but none of them bring me comfort.

"_Perfect….right size…small figure….so perfect… he just…good.."_

"What are you doing?" I whine loudly, batting away the fear that was crawling up my throat. He looks at me, an insane twinkle in his eyes that sends a chill down my spine. His hands cup my face, making our gazes hold.

"You're the perfect specimen. You have the slim figure, right height, bright eyes and lips," His thumb caresses my cheek, "and such beautiful pale skin." I flinch away, bile rising in my throat. "John, you're exactly what I've been searching for."

My eyes widen, unable to comprehend what he was saying. Oh my god this guy is crazy…he can't be serious. Holy shit he's serious!!

"_Let go of me you sick freak_!" I lash out in fear, grabbing onto his arm and throwing my body at him. He falls back in surprise, my elbow going into his gut. As he gasps for air I scramble up a quickly as I could, running up the hill, my fingers digging into the dirt and leaves as I made my way up.

"TURK!" I yell the panic I don't even realize I had bottled up coming out with my scream; "Hel-AHhh!" Psycho's hand snatches my ankle and sent me back down, leaves exploding up from impact.

A hand grabs my shoulder and rolls me over, and the same one soon crashing into my right cheek. Pain shoots across my face, tears forming in my eyes. The man's legs slide over my stomach, pinning me down on the cold wet forest ground. He grips my chin softly, turning my face to him.

"I can't let you escape John. You're too precious to me and every thing I've worked for." He pulls a flat, black case from a hidden pocket in his trench coat. He dangles it in front of my eyes, excitement filtering across his face. His hand moves from my chin to my neck, his grip becoming tighter.

He pops the case open with his thumb to reveal a small bottle containing a light orange substance fitted between black foam. I looked at it wide eye. "I'm… I'm supposed to drink that?"

Psycho laughs. "You're so adorable. Drinking this would be far too dangerous. Your throat would deteriorate. No the substance needs to enter through your blood stream." He grabbed my right arm and pulls it towards him.

"I've been watching you for so long John, learning so much about you. You really are a remarkable person. So childlike and innocent, caring of others, charming," He pushes up my sleeve, his eyes sparkling. "You really are one of a kind my boy. And soon you will be mine."

Pure terror engulfs me. No, NO, NO! I don't belong to anybody and I going to let him do what he wants! I will not become some mindless slave that answers to his every whim. I do enough of that with Dr. Cox! I definitely won't obey some scary old loon!!

"I WILL NOT BE YOUR ZOMBIE!!" I yell, ripping my arm from his grasp. I start thrashing my body around wildly from under him. "TURK!!! TURK PLEASE HELP!!" My fists beat at his chest, trying to push him off.

"Stop it now!" psycho hisses, his personality pulling a total 180. Anger crackles in his eyes as his hand crushes my throat. I stop pushing at his chest and grab at his hand clawing at it. "You are mine now, and I will not put up with your feeble attempts to escape anymore."

He reaches for the gun, lifts it high above him, and knocks the butt of it clear across my skull. Stars erupted from my vision and my body went limp on the ground. I'm still conscious but just barely, the only thing I really notice was the waves of pain knocking into the front of my head.

I lie there still and vulnerable, as the man grabs at my arm again and pulling it towards him. He holds my wrist tightly, keeping it straight in case I try to move. I tilt my head up, seeing that the man had replaced the gun with a syringe that was now filled with the orange substance.

"Please…" I say breathlessly, begging him to stop. He looks at me for a moment, a warm, yet horrifying smile stretching across his face.

"It's going to be okay John," he whispers the needle hovering an inch away from my skin, excitement evident in his voice. "You'll hardly feel it." He presses down, injecting the experimental liquid into my brachial artery.

The pain coursing through my head was nothing compared to this. As the needle empties into my vein a freezing sensation shoots through my veins, spreading quickly throughout my body. I roll my head back, my breath coming out in large gasps. My insides feel like ice, like I was freezing over.

"Fascinating," I hear the man say above me digging through his pockets once more. I pry one of my eyes open, seeing that a worn notebook in his hands, the pages covered in sloppy handwriting; some of the pages having yellow post its suck to them. He mutters under his breath, scribbling hastily into it. "Yes…very interesting."

My mind begins playing tricks on me. I hear a faint sound of some one calling my name, searching for where I was. That was just cruel. It didn't matter how much I pray, Turk wasn't coming to find me. No matter how much I imagine the worried voice coming closer.

"Turk..." I mumble, tears starting to form. The man hears me and looks up from his small writing book, staring down at me with a hungry gaze. "It looks like your bleeding." He says, almost in a whisper. He lifts my arm gently towards him, pressing his lips against my wounds. I squeeze my eyes shut, parlayed with horror.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Turk shrieks at the exact moment, answering my prayers. My eyes snap open just seeing my best friends slide down the hill. A smile breaks across my face, unable to contain the relief and joy I feel from seeing him.

The man on top of me looks up in surprise, the notebook falls from his hand. He barely has time to stand before Turk barrels at him, knocking him backwards and sending them both crashing hard to the ground.

Turk raises his fist, delivering a heavy blow to the man's face. "Nobody touches my best friend!" he strikes the man again, a sick crunch coming from psycho's nose.

I try to sit up, but my vision was starting to blur, my body suddenly warm. A prickly sensation starts to spread from my chest, and it becomes harder to breath. "Tu-urk-k" I choke clutching my chest, sweat beginning to pour heavily from my body. He stops in mid swing, looking at me in horror.

"JD?" Turk gasps coming to my side in an instant, supporting me against his body. He shoots a glare a psycho, who lay crumbled in the leaves. "What the fuck did you do to him?!"

The man lifts his damage face, smiling as blood pours from his nose. "His pain means that the serum is taking effect. It's working."

Searing pain begins to flare in my calf muscles and up my leg. "I... need a… hospital.." gasp, trying to blink away the black spots that speckle in front of my vision. My sweatshirt by this point is soaked through with sweat, usual gelled hair now plastered on my forehead. My breath is shallow and I try so hard not to pass out. Turk gives a tight nod, his eyes betraying his fear lifting me up into a standing position.

"You're not taking him anywhere." Psycho snarls getting up shakily on his hands and knees, eyeing his gun not a few inches away. "He belongs to me now."

"The only thing that even remotely belongs to you is my foot in your ass!" Turk yells back, trying to shield me.

My eyes go wide. "Turk…the gun!" I breathe, trying to warn my friend of the weapon the man was slowly reaching for. Turk spots it, and without hesitation he rocks his foot back, his sneaker connecting with the gun and sending the weapon whistling into the darkening woods.

The man glares murderously at my best friend, Turk matching it with a furious snarl. "Oh I'm sorry was that yours?" he tugs me by my under arm, helping me forward.

"You think this is over," The man says, our eyes catching each other. Heated hungry gaze stare back at me, and even though my body feels on fire I shiver with fear, "You may succeed today, but I have many ways of getting him back."

I feel my stomach churl. Turk's doesn't respond to the man's threat, but his grip tightens on my arm, his face scrunching in anger. We turn on the man and with Turk's help run up the incline, the man's eyes following as we went.

We manage to make it to the top before a searing pain shoots up my spine, my body lurching forward. A horrible scream erupts from my throat. I start to writhe on the ground, unable to take the pain. It hurt; God it hurt so fucking much. I heard Turk call my name, but I couldn't answer, the only thing I was able to do was scream.

Over the pain, I feel myself being lifted, leave and twigs snapping and crackling as my best friend carries me. I can feel Turk's labored breathing and erratic heart beat as he starts to run, taking me to safety. Voices and sirens appear around me. I feel hands grab me carefully, laying me on stiff padding, moving me at a fast speed. Two doors slammed and the noises were muffled.

Turk's shaky voice floats towards me. "It's going to be okay buddy. You're going to make it…you have to."

A new wave of pain shot through me, my brain exploding inside my head. It's too much for me to bear. A prick from a familiar needle of morphine rushes through me, helping to escape some of the unwanted aches. Unconsciousness soon takes over, wiping away all thought of pain, and the look of those cold hungry eyes.

* * *

.... my "k" key doesnt work....grrrr


	2. What's going on around here?

Thanks for all the reviews everyone! Wow I'm so exicted that you guys are enjoying it so far! It really means so much that peolpe are reading my story... it makes me blush!! Alright well here's chappie two, I hope you guys enjoy because you might just find out what has happened to JD.

But I don't want to give anything away..

And BTW there will be romance :3 but who it is...will discuss that later. SUSPENSE!!

okay enough of that...on with the show!

* * *

_I felt as though a heavy fog was blanketed over me. Nothing was making sense. I couldn't see anything. All I could hear were voices all around me, yelling franticly. My bones were throbbing. It was so hott. A familiar tone of voice was by me, and though I couldn't tell who it was, it gave me comfort. _

_Then it came out of nowhere. The fiery, intense sensation sprawled across my chest, burning me from within. Everything I had felt up to this point was nothing. It was a skip in the park. This felt like my ribs and lungs were painstakingly dissolving into nothing. The rampant fire became hotter, and abruptly my ears were filled with the sounds of a horrible, piercing scream. It took a second to realize it was me making that horrible noise._

_There were other screams that followed it, though they weren't mine. I thought I heard someone crying. The burning reached my heart, sending an intense explosion inside my unexpected muscle. It was going to burst open; I know it is. My bones began to contort painfully. The scream became louder. I could feel my blood boiling. Out of the haze of my consciousness I felt a hand, four hands, holding me down. The familiar, almost urgent voice filled the air again, braking through the barrier._

"Fucking don't you **dare** do this to me Newbie."

_The weight of the fog pressed me further and further down into nothingness, until I was surrounded by a black silence. And that's where I wait._

00000

It was weird waking up. I felt as though someone was slowly pulling me upwards, until the dark numbness dissipated around me. It kinda sucks though, because as soon as I regain consciousness I'm met with consciousness a painful pounding begins cursing through my skull.

A soft hiss escapes my lips while my fingers dig into the soft fabric beneath me. My skin feels warm, and my muscles and bones were sore and stiff. I think I'm feverish, my skin still warm. I hear faint sounds of footstep close by, the noise beating softly against my sensitive ears. Though I feel uncomfortable, it was nothing like the intense pain from before.

I shiver involuntarily, teeth chattering. My eyelids start to flutter open taking in the dim lilt room I was in. From the bland colored walls and the monitor beeping steadily beside me, I guessed I was in a hospital. Out side the window, the sky was dark, a lone street lamp illuminating the sky. I hypothesized I had been out for most the day. I looked over to my right arm, a tiny plastic tube fixed in my vein.

Well this is just fan-flippin-tastic. I get captured by some lunatic, drugged by the bastard with some stupid remedy he made, and then nearly die because of it. Worst of all I never got my snow cone! God I don't see how this day could get any worse.

_You could be dead._

Very true brain.

The door to my room creaks slowly open, light seeping in from the hall. I immediately block from the sudden brightness by sealing my eyes, but a sharp jolt continues to shoot in the back of my skull. In spite of the pain, I hear the door close slightly, a pair feet padding softly into the room.

I open my eyes again, a familiar mop of blonde hair standing at the foot of bed, mesmerized by the chart in her hand. I blink, the light from the hallway illuminating her face enough for me to see her expression of curiosity and disbelief.

"Hey Elliot..." I say, my lips capped and my throat feeling raw. I pause at that irregular sound coming from my throat. It was too high pitched, which was really strange. What the hell happened?!

As her name leaves my dry lips Elliot's head snaps up, her eyes widening as her gaze finds mine. Her mouth opens and closes a couple of times, my chart tumbling out of her hands.

I frown slightly, my stomach turning uneasily. "…Elliot?" man what is with my voice?! "Are you okay?"

"HOLY FRICK!!" she screeches causing my head to explode. "CARLA, TURK, ANYBODY, OH FRICKIN-A THIS IS CRAZY! GUYS! _JD'S AWAKE_!?!"

Oh my god if she screams anymore I'm going to pass out.

"Ell..ee..ot… please..." I gasp trying to sit up. A wave of nausea hits me out of no where, making the room spins around me. My body starts to fall sideways and I start falling out of the bed, but cold hands catch my shoulders and pushes me gently back onto my pillow.

"Oh god JD I'm so sorry," She says tenderly her fingers brushing my bangs out of my eyes. Usually her abnormally cold hands would bother me, but they feel good against my balmy skin. "I didn't mean to upset you or anything. You just startled me," her voice started to crack, her hand locking with mine. "We didn't think you could wake up."

I smile at her, tilting my head in confusion. "what are you talking about? I haven't been out for that long have I?"

Elliot's face falls and her hand instantly tightening its grip painfully. Damn her iron grip. I see her brilliant blur eyes become glossy.

That is never a good sign.

Before she can give me an answer, the door to my room opens with a loud bang and the light switches on, blinding me yet again.

"JD?!" I hear Carla say in surprise. My vision clears and I see her walking briskly to the other side of the bed, wiping what looked like tears from her eyes. "Oh thank god you're awake."

I smile at her, but before I could say anything I hear rushed footsteps making there way towards us. I see Turk standing by the door, his mouth moving and his voice low. As he takes a step forward Molly appears from the other side humming merrily. They catch each others shoulders in the door frame.

"Well this is awkward." Molly smiles, Turk frowning. She moves in first, leaving my friend staring angrily outside the door. He holds his glare for a moment before coming in after Molly, his eyebrows rising slightly at the sight of me.

"Hey buddy." Turk says standing on the other side of Elliot. He doesn't look directly at me, which worries me. I guess he feels guilty or something about what happened. But he shouldn't! I wouldn't be here, surrounded by friends, if it weren't for him.

Actually I really don't want to think about where I would be if he never showed up.

To my surprise the next person waltzing through is Dr. Kelso, a curious yet amused smile on his face. "Ah so Sleepy Beauty finally wakes."

"This isn't amusing." Turk glares at the older man, shocking me by the bitterness of his tone. Whoa wasn't expecting him to be mad… is he angry with me about what happened?

Kelso shrugs his shoulders. "Don't get cranky; I'm just trying to lighten the mood. At least _I_ came in here."

"Stop it, both of you!" Carla scolds them. "This isn't the time to bicker!"

"That's right were here for Johnny!" Molly agrees, her nickname making me cringe. "He doesn't need to listen to us yell and gripe at each other. We need to be supportive!"

"I don't understand what there bickering about." Elliot whines pouting at the others.

"Whoa… calm down guys." I say, my strange new voice earning everyone's attention. Damn this voice is starting to piss me off. I sound like I've inhaled a dozen helium balloons. Well maybe not that bad. I wonder what Turk and I would sound like if we inhaled that much helium. Our voices would sound awesome. I bet we sound like the munchkins off of the Wizard of Oz only more hip.

"We'd totally beat the Lolly Pop Gang."

"I see his stupidity is still in tip top condition." Dr. Kelso says. Carla glares at him before turning to me, giving me a smile that didn't meet her worried eyes.

"So how… how are you feeling Bambi?" She asks in a shaky voice, sitting on the bed beside me. Everyone in the room watches me, waiting for my answer.

I sit up slowly, with the help of Elliot, and answer her question. "My head feels horrible and my body's aching, but other than that I'm fine."

"You haven't noticed anything else?" Carla asks carefully "Anything at all?"

Well let's see. My limbs are all in tact, I can see, hear, talk, unfortunately feel; wait can I smell… yep Carla's wearing that cucumber melon body wash that I like to use, so my that still works. I wiggle my fingers and my toes. I can still move them. I wonder what she's talking about.

I shook my head. "Am I supposed to?"

"Well sweetheart most people would notice if all the sudden they ha-" Molly's hand clamps onto Kelso's mouth, stopping him from finishing his sentence. She pulls away after a moment, wiping her hand on her lab coat in disgust.

I study their faces, each one looking back with concern. The uneasy feeling begins to grow in the pit of my stomach. Something's wrong; something that they do not want to tell me upfront. And that makes me even more nervous, annoyed, and confused. Wow that's way too many emotions to feel at once.

Molly's voice pulls me away from my thoughts.

"Johnny, what all do you remember about the attack?" Molly asks sitting carefully beside me on the opposite side of the bed as Carla. I frown slightly at her unusual demeanor. What was she afraid I was emotionally unbalanced or something?!

I give her a small shrug. "Yeah, most of it. After getting mine and Turk snow cones," which I would really like to have right now. "I was looking for where Turk was sitting, when…" I trail off slightly a lump of fear in my throat. Carla and Elliot both squeeze my hands at the same time, showing their support. I smile slightly at the gesture then continue. "A man came up from behind me and forced me to follow him to the wooded area on the other side of the park."

I didn't want to tell them that I was threatened with a gun. I didn't want to mention how scared I was when I saw him pull out the strange liquid; how much it hurt when he injected it into my arm. I wanted to forget the man's crazy, hungry eyes boring into mine, and telling me that I was going to belong to him. They didn't need to hear that, and I didn't want to remember it.

"He said… he said something about me being the perfect model, for what I have no idea. He never told me; he just kept muttering things. Then he pulled out a syringe from his coat and injects it into my arm." I look at Turk, "That's when my SCB saved me."

Turk looks at me, his anger dissolving. "No body hurts my V-bear." His frown weakened and a glimmer of a smile came forth. I smile back.

"Do you remember anything else?" Molly questions, acting a lot more professional than I usually see her. It's weird seeing everyone act so different around me; like I'm the same person. I don't like it. "Anything after you were injected?"

I bite my lower lip. "Not really. I just remember this hot, intense pain going through my muscles." I shudder. "My vision became blurry. I remember sirens, people's voices, Turk talking to me. That's all before I blacked out. Then I woke up in here."

"He doesn't realize how long he's been asleep." Elliot says quietly looking straight at others. They stare at her, wide eyed, and then almost uniformly their pitiful gazes fell on me. This agitates my already stressed feelings.

"Okay that's it! What the hell is going on?" I snap looking at all of them irritably. "I'm sick of all of you being so shady! Why won't you guys tell me anything?" My heart starts to race, stomach rolling. God what the hell did that drug do to me?! "What's wrong with me?"

Dr. Kelso shocks me and speaks before any of them. "Well since you're all gong to be a bunch of pansies and not answer Dr. Dorian's questions, then I guess I'll do it for you."

His chest seemed to puff out as he begins. "You haven't been unconscious for a few hours, you been in a coma for days. What ever that assailant put into your body nearly killed you. We still have no idea what the hell the substance was, but your body was so worn out after the experience that your organs completely shut down. We were about to pronounce you brain dead, but miraculously you started to recover from the drugs effects.

"Your brain waves changed. They became more pronounced and your heart beat started to get stronger. We were able to take you off the ventilator and your fever gradually started to go down. All of this happened, even more shockingly, in a span of two weeks."

My stomach goes hollow, and I'm pretty sure my breath just got stuck in my throat. I can't help but stare at my boss in shock. Two weeks. I was in a coma for two weeks. That can't be right. I feel fine! I could I have been out for so long?!

Molly pulls something hesitantly out of her pocket, letting out a big sigh. "And to answer your second question…" she gnaws her lip nervously looking from Carla, to Elliot, then back to me. "I think it would be better if we showed you."She holds out a small compact, opening it and handing it gingerly to me. I take it from her, and with a deep breath peer inside, seeing my reflection for the first time in two weeks.

Only, the person looking back from the mirror can not be me. This person has longer, shinier hair; all the way to the shoulders. Its eyelashes were longer, nose smaller, and lips were fuller. Its face was softer, and seemed smaller than mine.

And this person staring back at me in full terror was 100% female.

Oh_. My. __**God**__! _

I'm not sure how long I sat there in silence looking at her- _at me_- in the mirror. All I know was that the throbbing in my head starts to increase, blood pounding so hard in my ears that my friends voices were muffled. I could see them out of the corner of my eye, trying to speak to me, to each other, but I wasn't listening. All my concentration was on the unfamiliar woman staring back at me.

This was me now. This is what that man was planning all along? To turn me into, into a girl; forever?!

I start to hyperventilate.

Turk was the first to notice. "JD!"

"All of you out of the way!" Kelso roars, pushing pass Molly who retches the small mirror out of my hands. The compact flings out of her grip, crashing onto the floor, the mirror cracking into pieces.

"Sunshine, you and Turkelton get out **NOW**! We don't need your uselessness crowding the room. _GO_! Dr. Reid; Get me a sedative. Nurse Espinosa; Help me get an oxygen mask on her."

"Her?!?" Carla shrieks her hands were on my shoulder's trying to lay me back on the bed.

"Oh sorry, the boobs confused me for a moment."

My breath quickens.

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" I feel something come over my face, oxygen entering my lungs. I was still breathing too fast, and the sudden air gave me a coughing fit. Soft hands brush my hair back, a voice shushing me.

"Easy, Bambi, you're going to be okay…" Carla soothes, her mothering side coming at full force. I open my eyes, not realizing that I had closed them and look into her face. I feel something wet fall down my cheeks, my breath still short and panicky.

"No I won't." And then some thing dawns on me. There was a face that I didn't see among my friends. A face that I needed to see. "Where's… Dr. Cox?"

Dr. Kelso mutters something, but Carla's evil glare cut him short. She looks back down at me, her face lined with annoyance. What she is so annoyed about, I have no idea.

"He.. he couldn't make it..JD..."

Elliot burst back into the room, sedative in her hands. She came up to my IV drip, sticking the needle into the tube and injecting it into my veins. I immediately start to relax, my eyes becoming droopy.

"JD, I know this is hard," Carla was saying, but her voice was far away. "But I swear to you, Elliot, Turk and I will be here for you. Everyone else will too. Right Dr. Kelso?" her voice sounds harder with the last phrase.

The older man's hand squeezes my shoulder, patting it lightly. "Yes, Dr. Dorian. You're always welcomed at Scared Heart. No matter what sex-"

"You're done now." Carla says, pursing her lips at him. It is funny to watch them bicker. Carla can always put a person in their place, "Just rest up Bambi."

"We'll all be here when you wake up." Elliot says softly, looking over Carla's shoulder.

My eyes are finally too heavy to keep open, so I let them fall, but not before asking them one last question.

"Will Dr. Cox be here too?"

Darkness was all I saw, but before I was consumed completely, I heard Kelso say something in a low voice, probably thinking that I wouldn't hear it.

"I highly doubt it kid."

But I did.

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And there's two! I really enjoy writing this, so please tell me what you think! And remember; everytime you leave a review and angle gets its wings!

....alright that's bull crap, but please review all the same!!


	3. Breaking the Dam

Third Chapter!! This is exciting!! Yeppers JD is now a full fledge woman. I hope nobody is too upset about this. Because...come on, the guy is so adorably girly, I couldn't help but wonder what he would be like if he was a female. And I gott a tell ya, it's a blast to write :3 Though I think he would prefer to be a guy again.

Im so thankful to all the reviews, and I'm so happy that were enjoying this so far. Your reviews kick butt!! Thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own Scrubs....only in my blissful dream...

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Rain was splashing against the window steadily when my eyes drift open, a soothing rhythmic pat filling the dully lit room. Outside the sky was a light grey, sunlight filtering through the edges. It was kind of ironic. Mother Nature was reflecting how I was feeling.

Psychically I feel better than I did the first time I woke up. My headache has subsided into a small thud, and my limbs aren't as sore. I didn't feel drained either. In fact I think I have some of my energy back. Unfortunately I wasn't okay mentally. My mind was going a mile a minute; my panic level soaring through the roof.

This can't be real. It has to be a dream; a nightmare! How can I be a woman? Am I going to stay like this forever? Can I still go around as Dr. '_John_' Dorian? Kelso said I was always welcome here, but would people wanted to be treated by a woman who was born a man?!

What about my friends? How can they be comfortable around me? Of course they're going to be here for me, but what if they're disgusted by how I look. What if they become uncomfortable around me? What if they start drifting away?

It seems that Dr. Cox has already done that.

I let out a small sigh, deciding that I needed to get out of this stuffy bed and get used to my new…body. Tossing my legs out of the bed, I plant my feet on the cold floor, shivering slightly. A wave of nausea hit me as I came into a sitting position and I closed my eyes tightly, waiting for it to pass. When my stomach settles down I reopen them, and slowly, I stand up from my bed.

My balance, though it was never very good, was a little shaky at first, but I was able to stand just fine on my own. After two, quick, encouraging breaths I step cautiously away from the bed, gripping onto my IV stand with one hand and holding the other in front, hoping to catch anything if I fell. Amazingly, I was able to walk away from my bed without tripping once. Ha! JD: one, clumsiness: zero.

Then I feel my bladder give a familiar jolt. I need to go tinkle.

As quickly as I can I make my way to the small bathroom inside my hospital room. I try to get through the door but the creaking wheels on the stand get caught in the corner of the frame. Come on you useless piece of crap! God Kelso really needs to get us some new equipment…There! I finally get the old wheel out of the corner, rolling it along side me as I stand over the toilet. I pull up the horribly itchy hospital gown up and…

_Oohhh yeah…._

I can't pee like a guy any more. I have to pee like a girl now. I groan loudly; just another damn thing to add to my list of worries. I guess I'm going to have to get use to doing female things like going to the bathroom. How fun.

Okay I've walked in on Carla numerous times and I watched Elliot once (don't ask). All I need to do is sit down like I'm going number two… and now what? Just let it go?

Oh God this is going to drive me insane.

I sigh in relief as I let my bladder loose. It was defiantly different, but not unpleasant. Finished I glance over at the toilet paper. Okay, I just take a little and then wipe…now that's a new experience. Jesus what kind of toilet paper is this? It feels like sandpaper!

"I don't want to pee like a woman any more…" I whine, standing up and flushing the toilet. At least that's still the same!

I was making my way out of the small restroom when I caught my reflection out of the corner of my eye, causing me to stop completely. I turn slowly to the mirror, looking at my new self intently.

That compact didn't do me justice at all. God it was so much more to take in. My dark hair was suffering from intense bed head, falling down to my shoulders. Running my hand through it I notice it slightly greasy. My body seemed smaller, like I had shrunk a couple of inches, and my skin had a pasty color to it. There were dark bags under my eyes. They were still big and blue, but my eyelashes were longer and more pronounced. My nose had gotten smaller too, fitting my small, oval face. In a way I still looked like myself, my eyes and lip the same, but at the same time I looked so different. I look like a train wreck.

I turn, getting a side view of my self. Plus side to this disaster, I now have a perfect set of boobs. No complaints in that department! Out of curiosity, I bring my newly small feminine hands to my breast, and squeeze them. Ow that kind of hurts. But at least they're not saggy! Turk will be so proud.

I let my hands fall then, a sigh escaping. How could this of happened? How am I supposed to deal with this? Sure I can grab my boobs and not be called a pervert, but none of this is me. How can I be the same JD that I've always been? Will I have to start all over again?

"At least I'm still a cutie."

"You know you're not supposed to be up." A gruff voice says to me, making me jump ten feet in the air and scream like a little school girl; which wasn't far from the truth. My body sideways whips sideways, clinging to the sink and look up at Dr. Cox.

He stands at the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. He wears the same annoyed expression he always does when I was around, but something was different; almost unnerving about him. It was nothing in his eyes or posture or features; it was almost just the air around him. Weird, I've never noticed anything like that before. Oh maybe it's that women's intuition that Laverne mentions every now and then. Cool!

"So… how long have you been standing there?" I asked my voice still in that girly tone. Guess that changed too. Dr. Cox notices as well, his eyebrows rising slightly.

"Long enough to see you grope yourself." He answers flatly. I felt myself blush and look away from him. Jerk.

"I was just testing them out…" I mumble mostly to myself, but of course his bat like ears hears me. I flinch, expecting him to say some crude remark but he keeps silent, rolling his eyes and flicking his nose.

An uncomfortable silence settled between us. I bite my lip nervously, not sure of what to say. In all honesty, I'm so happy to see Dr. Cox here that I can dance, but I also feel awkward. He is too tense, and even though he is staring ahead, his eyes avoid mine.

"Why are you here?" I ask in a low voice hoping that it didn't crack.

Dr. Cox turns his gaze away. "Carla wants me to check on you. Now come on, you're too weak to be up. You need to get back to bed."

His voice makes my heart break. There was no anger or annoyance like it usual. He sounds like he does when he talks to a patient or some one he detest; distant.

Why was Dr. Cox acting this way? Where were the girl's names? The insults? This is the most perfect situation in the entire world to make fun of me, yet he won't even make eye contact! What was it so different now?

Then it hit me. Because I was different.

Anger bubbles in my stomach. Why should he even care! He always thought I was a girl in the first place, so now that he's actually correct he decides that I'm not the same person anymore! Fickle bastard!

Before even realizing it I stomp towards him, throwing my arms out and shoving him away from the door. "You're such a _Fucking Coward_!!"

Dr. Cox staggers a bit, more from shock than from actual force. He looks almost amused, but that quickly dissolves into anger. His hand shot out and grabs my arm, stopping me from walking away. "What did you just call me?"

Oddly enough he didn't scare me like usual. Instead he just pisses me off more. I stare right at him, scowl meeting scowl.

"You heard me! For years you've constantly berated me for acting too much like a damn girl, always calling me names and making jokes at my expense; and now, when this…" I grab my boobs and push them up for emphasis "happens, you act like I'm some damn freak and ignore me! Well sorry for making Mr. Buffy-mc-buff buff uncomfortable. Heaven forbid that we put a dent in _his perfect little world!!"_ I start to scream the last part, tears falling down my face. I hide my face in my free hand, trying to hide the fact I was crying. I still keep shouting, unable to stop.

"I'm sorry that some random psychopath turned me into such a damn ugly freak that not even my best friends are comfortable around me! That they feel nothing but pity! I'm sorry that I'm scared out of my fucking mind about what's going to happen to me! And I'm so very sorry for hoping that, since you think I'm little girl anyway, _you_ would at least treat me somewhat normal!! I guess you were right all along. I am a moron!"

I stand there shaking, sobbing uncontrollably into my hand. Dr. Cox is silent, his hand warm on my arm. I wish he would just leave. I felt so pathetic and vulnerable right now, I don't want him seeing me like this. I don't want anybody to see me. I just want to be alone.

"Just go." I sob lowly, my shoulders shaking. "I don't want you here anymore. Leave me alone. Please."

"I'm afraid I just can't do that." He says his voice raspy and tense.

"Yes you can!" I yell. "Just leave me alone for once and _GET THE HELL OUT_!"

Dr. Cox jerks me forward suddenly the old wheels on the IV stand jerking along beside me. His large hands move to my shoulders and grip them tightly. I snap my head up, my tear filled eyes meeting his furious ones. "You don't think I care? News Flash there Bethany! I wouldn't be here if I didn't give a shit!"

"OH really!" I shriek at him angrily, trying to get out of his hold. "Then where the hell were you yesterday?! When I needed help the most? I needed your support more than anyone's and you weren't even there when my whole world got turned upside down! How's that caring?!"

The door opens suddenly, revealing a concerned nurse. "Excuse me but what seems to be- DR. COX?!" She cries. She tries to move closer but the guttural growl coming from Cox's throat cuts her off.

"Get. The. _Fuck._ Out." He says in a murderous voice making the poor woman freeze in fright. She backs away quickly and runs out the door, obviously going to get help.

Dr. Cox turns his attention back to me his eyes narrowed to slits. Normally the look he's giving me would scare me shitless, but I just match his snarl, too pissed and hormonal to realize how stupid I was being. "In case you seemed to have forgotten in your deep sleep you took for two weeks waiting for your true love kiss, I_ am_ a doctor with other patients than just you. God forbid Newbie that I can't be at your damn beck and call in all hours of the day!"

"That's the lamest excuse I've ever freaking heard!" I growl leaning an inch closer, noticing his eyes flicker dangerously. "If you really wanted to see me you would have! But I guess you were too much of a coward to come and see the new _freak_!"

That's when my back connects with the wall, the IV nearly ripping out of my arm in the process. Oh that hurt. Dr. Cox's hands were now balled up in the fabric of my gown, pushing me up until my feet were a few inches from the ground. I look down at him shocked.

"You do realize that I'm a girl! I'm fragile now asshole, you can't just throw me into things like you use to!" I say to him.

He smirks up at me, his eyes cold with rage. "Sweetheart, I hate to tell ya, but you've always been a little girl; hence the name calling. You getting a new set of boobs didn't change anything." He moves closer, our noses practically touching. "You're still a loud, annoying, little bitch that does nothing but complain and whine!"

He shakes me roughly almost looking desperate. "God Dammit Newbie do you even realize what you put me through for the last two weeks?!"

"Put you through?!" I suddenly see red. "I was turned into a god damned woman?! Oh, your right that totally fucks up your life! God you egoistical bastard, how the hell did this affect you?"

"BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

Everything around me stops. Dr. Cox's body presses right up to mine his head buried into my shoulder. I being crushed into the wall, but I can barley pay attention, his body heat wiping any thought away. His chest rising and falling heavily against my mine; the stubble on his chin brushing across my collarbone. My face was burning from the feeling.

"I- God JD- I watch the whole thing happen." Did his voice just crack? "They brought you into the emergency room…. It felt like you were on fire. We tried cooling you down but nothing worked. And you were so pale…it didn't make any damn sense."

"All the sudden you stopped breathing. I tried resuscitating you until we got an oxygen mask on you, but still nothing. Your pulse was barely there. And your skin was just getting fucking hotter and hotter.

"Then…you started changing. It was like you were catching on fire. Smoke started bellowing out of your body; you were screaming so loud. I thought you were going to combust… every body freaked out, ran away; Ghaundi was the only one who stayed besides me. He said he wasn't going to leave you."

"I watched you change right before my eyes. Your hair, face, body; everything slowly morphed you into…you. We were speechless. You finally stop withering and screaming. You just lied there, still as the dead."

Dr. Cox pulls away, looking into my eyes, and for the first time I actually saw what he was truly feeling; fear. "I was the first one to the door when Barbie started screaming. But I couldn't go in there. Not because of your change, hell I thought you do this to yourself eventually," a sad smirk appears on his face when he says that but it quickly fell, "It was because I can't… I couldn't handle the thought of losing you mentally. If I was to go in there and you weren't the same annoying, pathetic, whiny, nerdy little lapdog that you always are…I've lost too much already…I didn't want to lose you too."

He let go of my gown and slowly I sank to the floor, my eyes still wide and staring at Dr. Cox. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. The only thing I was aware of was that a single tear was falling slowly down my cheek.

His face was red, bright blue eyes looking into mine. "So yes JD. I am a fucking coward."

"Perry what in the hell are doing?!" Carla yells bargaining into the room, looking back and forth from Dr. Cox and me. I couldn't help but deflate. Way to kill the moment Carla.

Dr. Cox looking like he was thinking the same I was, slowly broke eye contact with me. He pushed his coat up, hands going to his hips, staring at her intently. "I'm doing what you and Barbie forced me to do. I'm having a friendly chit-chat with your new little gal pal here."

Fire sparks in Carla's eyes at the word gal, but she holds it back, hiding it with sarcasm. "Well where I come from, 'friendly chit-chats' do not evolve throwing people into walls and yelling at them!"

"You know what, as much as I loved to converse about our different ethnic traditions, I really just don't have time for this," Cox glares trying to get pass the small woman. She steps where he does, making it impossible to escape.

"Oh yes you do have time Perry!" Carla growls back, stepping up to him and pointing a finger at his chest. "JD is still recovering and I don't care how much you huffed and puffed at him while were working, but messing with him when he's sick and weak is just plain,"

"**Carla**!" Cox yells making the Latina woman jump back in surprise. He leans towards her till their faces were inches apart, saying with a voice I've never heard him use with Carla. "Do the world a favor for once and get off your god damn pedestal that you so kindly put yourself on, and shut the hell up! If you think that coddling and mothering him is going to help him recover what's happened, than you really shouldn't even call yourself as a nurse. "

Carla's eye went wide, too shocked to say anything. I gape at my mentor, watching both of them in an unbearable silence. Never, since working in this hospital, have I seen Dr. Cox be just down right hateful to Carla. Calling her mothering is one thing. Saying she's not damn good at her job is crossing a fragile line that no one should.

Dr. Cox brushes rudely pass her, stalking out of my room and slamming the door shut on the way. Carla's fist shook angrily, her eyes watering. I place my hand on the wall and shakily stood.

"Carla…" I asked lowly, watching my friend nervously. Her head shoots up, her eyes locking with mine. She tries to smile, wiping her eyes franticly with the back of her hand.

"Sorry Bambi…" She sighs, looking away from me. "I should have known not to pester Dr. Cox to come see you, but last night you wanted to see him so badly,"

I touch her arm, giving her a gentle smile. "Don't be. I am glad he came in here. I'm use to his anger." My eyes met hers, "and just between me and you, I like your coddling."

A real smile appears on her lips, but fell when she gets a better look at my face. "Bambi are you okay? Your face is bright red." Her hand went to my forehead, "I hope your fever isn't back."

"Carla, I feel fine!" I say flustered grabbing her hand and taking it away from my face, "I swear!"

"Are you sure? Your eyes look swollen…" Her eyes narrow slightly, realization dawning on her. "You've been crying haven't you? What did Perry do to you?" her voice was hard and I felt my face begin to burn. "Did he say something? Oh I'm going to kill-"

"NO!" I say a little too quickly, interrupting her. "He didn't do anything! He just did the usual- yells, hollers, rants, spits, and makes faces…"Good god I'm rambling! "And I overreacted over nothing! That's all!"

Carla gives me a skeptical look, her thin eyebrow rising. "Alright JD, alright, I believe you. But you do feel slightly warm, and I think your getting delirious. Come on; let's get you back to bed. All we need is for you to catch something."

I nod and Carla helps me back towards the bed. She holds onto my IV stand, puckering her lips as she studies it. "You know since your progressing fairly well I think will take you off the IV and get you on a liquid diet."

I make a face. "That's grouse. Why can't I eat real food?"

"Don't whine at me Bambi. We can't force your stomach to digest solid food after two weeks of nothing. We'll stick with soup then in a day or two we'll see. Now hop on in." She pulls back the covers. I inch in then Carla places them over my body, tucking the warm fabric into me. "You go back to sleep and I come check on you later."

I smile and say a soft okay. She brushes my bangs out of my face, and makes her way towards the door. Before Carla walks out she turns to me, a concern look on her face.

"Bambi...Do you think I'm too motherly to you?" She asks uncertain. I look at her, and smile as sincerely as I could.

"Carla, I wouldn't have you any other way."

A huge grin appears on her face. "I'm glad to have you back JD. I really am." And she softly closes the door.

Being a woman must make me more emotional, because I find tears forming in my eyes, a warm feeling swelling in my chest. I don't think Carla realizes how much that meant to hear her say that. And in truth I'm glad of her mothering side. I think I would have gone off the edge if I didn't have Carla babying me.

I sit upright in bed wiping the small tears away a guilty feeling settling in the bottom of my chest. I did lie to Carla about on thing though. Dr. Cox did do something to me. Something I didn't want to admit to anyone. I placed my hand on my chest, my cheeks becoming red.

Dr. Cox made my heart throb.

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Until next time ;3


	4. On Call scuffle

Hey Everyone! Sorry this one took so long, my beta and I weren't abe to meet up for a while, what with finals and christmas just around the bend. But she sent it to me last inght and I fixed it ASAP! Okay now this next chapter is going to be slightly different. Instead of JD's point of view its going to go into third person with some of the other characters. Who are they? Scroll down and you'll find out :3 again thanks for the awesome reviews guys! I'm glad that were happy with it so far. Were in it for the long haul!!

And just a reminder for thoughs who do not know, SCRUBS SEASON 8 WILL AIR ON ABC JANUARY 6TH!

sorry got a little excited...anyway here's the story!

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Dr. Cox was laying face up on the lumpy sofa in the dim lilted break room, rubbing his hands across his face vigorously. No body dared enter the room; not after seeing the angry doctor stomp inside, sending other residents out with a horrible growl and a loud slam of the door. He didn't bother locking it. No one was stupid enough to barge in there while he was letting off steam.

Good Lord, how much of a god damn pansy could he possibly be?! Nothing was supposed to faze him! People respected and feared him, he never backed down from any obstacle, never gave in. Perry fucking Cox was made of stone! Nothing fazed him. And then the stupid kid goes and gets himself nearly killed and turned into a damn girl, of all things!!

His groan echoed off the white ceiling. He sat up suddenly, stomping towards the window. He pressed his forehead on the cool glass. His face looked gaunt, his hair messy and face was pink. He looked like a damn disaster.

Crap this was annoying the hell out of him! Why did this bother him so much? The guy was only a snip away from becoming his inner female, but… God why couldn't he get over it? Why was it that he couldn't even look at JD now without feeling his barrier he's tried so hard to build crack?

Perry couldn't sum up the courage to go in the room when JD first woke up. The doctor had stood outside in the hall the entire time, his hand clamped on the door knob. But he never opened it. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to even turn the knob. It made him feel _so_ weak. And he blamed JD for it.

Dr. Cox blamed his protégé for the guilty pang that went through his stomach when he witnessed the kid looking at his new body sadly in the mirror; for when he broke down and the older man could do nothing but watch. He hated newbie for making him get so angry for accusing him of not caring. And most of all he hated himself for letting his barrier break in front of JD, actually revealing his feelings.

He leaned up from the window, some how ending back on the couch. "God Dammit Newbie," He sighed, his fingers digging into his curls. "You always have to go and mess everything up."

"That's why he needs you to clean it up." Carla's voice carried towards him. He peeked in between his fingers, seeing the Latina woman watching him from the doorway. Dr. Cox closed his eyes for a moment, feeling a headache coming on.

"If this is about the little episode that happened a while ago, I rather not talk about it." The man said sighing heavily.

Carla closed the door softly behind her, making her way slowly to the couch. "Which one were you referring to, the one where you had JD on the floor, or the one were you snapped at me like a crazy person?"

Dr. Cox gave her a half hearted growl, turning into the couch so his back was to the outside. Carla let a smile slip onto her face, taking a seat on the arm rest.

"I did come in here to yell at you, but you look so cute laying there mumbling to yourself," Perry shot up at the word cute, staring eye to eye with the nurse.

"You're really pushing my buttons today," he growled. He swung his legs out and stood. "You wanna hoot and holler you're little Spanish at me like you love to do whenever you go into bitch mode than fine, go ahead so I can tune ya out like a do with my dominatrix ex-wife. Then leave. Because I'm serious when I say this Carla, I am not in the mood."

"Okay, Mr. Grouch, I'll leave you alone." Carla's eyes darkened standing up as well. "But answer this for me first. Why was JD crying?"

Perry didn't respond. Carla watched in fascination as his eyebrows shot up a quarter inch, clearly not expecting to be asked that question. Something flashed across the doctors' face, something that closing resembled guilt, but just as quickly as it was there it went, anger replacing it.

"Well, how the hell am I supposed to know?" Cox bellowed throwing his arms into the air. "Maybe Nancy didn't like the way I was looking at her? Maybe she didn't want to deal with my attitude today? Or maybe, don't quote me on this because I'm just throwing this out there, it's because some fucking psychotic bastard turned him into a girl and he's feel like a freak and he needed some one to lash out on!"

"My god Carla!" his voice was almost whiny, his fingers finding there way back into his curls, "Do you actually think that I would go in there and make him cry on purpose! I barely said two words to the kid before he just broke down! Do you think I wanted to witness that? You think I wanted to watch the kid ball his goddamn eyes out? Jesus how heartless to you think I am?!"

She stood there gaping at the man, not really sure what to say. Perry shook his head, and sank back on the couch. He looked weary, his eyes bloodshot. "I don't know how much more I can take of this."

Carla sat down beside him, placing her hand on top of his. "I…I'm sorry Perry." She whispered. He didn't respond, but he didn't move his hand either. So she continued.

"It's hard for me too. In all honesty I could give a rat's ass on what he looks like. But the fact that some…monster targeted him…" she shook her head. "I made Turk tell me the whole story, even though he refused to tell every one else. He said when he found JD… the man was sitting on top of him, kissing his arm." The last came out in a disgusted voice, Carla wincing as she said it.

It was hard for her not to notice Dr. Cox's hand curl into a fist from under hers.

"He's still out there too." She continued her voice wavering. "That crazy bastard still out there, still wanting JD. And Bambi's in so much pain right now. The last thing he needs to think about is…him. But it's so dangerous…what if the man finds out where he is and comes here?! What if that psycho tries to take him away again?!"

"That bastard isn't coming within twenty miles of here." Dr. Cox growled, catching the nurse in surprise. She looked sideways at her colleague, his eyes blazing. "Because I'm gonna make damn sure he doesn't touch one slimy perverted hand on JD again."

"Baby, you in here?" Turk's voice filtered through the door, the surgeon appearing seconds after. "Laverne said you came in here because Cox was throwing a tantrum."

Dr. Cox's jaw tensed, his eye rolling into the back of his head. Carla patted his hand, shaking her head while a small smile tugged at her lips. She sat up from the couch and turned to her husband, "Hey, we were just- What the hell are you doing with that?!"

Turk smiled brightly at his wife, Rowdy tucked neatly under his arm. "I was going to visit JD before my shift started. I thought I'd bring Rowdy here to help cheer him up."

"That's brilliant Ghaundi," Dr. Cox gave him a crooked smile, "because a big dead stuffed dog brings a smile to even the smallest children."

"Don't listen to him boy," Turk whispered sincerely to the dog, earning an eye roll from the pair.

"Turk," Carla stood and walked towards him. "As excited I am to see Rowdy out of my house; I really don't think that this is a very…_sanitary_ thing to bring into the hospital."

"Come on baby! Rowdy always makes JD happy. It will lift his spirits."

Cox raised his eyebrows. "A dead object is going to make a hospital patient happy? You need to rethink your logic there."

Turk huffed angrily. "Said the guy who couldn't even walk into his room."

Dr. Cox was up in an instant, eyes narrowed into slits and a dangerous smile on his face. "You want to start something wonder ball, because I promise you I'll break that milky head of yours open and see what surprises really are inside."

"Bring it Curly!" He grabbed a hold of the taxidermy dog and pushed it towards Carla. "Hold my lab."

"Both of you stop it!" Carla shrieked, setting the stuffed animal forcefully onto the ground between them. "There is no reason for you two to fight! That's not going to help JD!"

"You're right." Turk said glaring at Cox. "What's going to help him is being a friend and looking out for him. Which Dr. No feelings could never do!"

"Don't you dare," Cox growled taking a threatening step closer, "imply that I don't care for JD."

"So you do? That's funny because lately all you've been doing is yelling at him and using him for your own personal punching bag! Just because your life sucks right now doesn't give you the right to take it out on the one person who actually gives a damn about you. You self righteous bastard!"

"TURK!" Carla shouted eyes wide.

"No Carla, I'm not going to hear it. As long as JD's in this state I'm going to make sure that he gets through this without some asshole hassling him," he pointed to Dr. Cox, "and that means you big boy."

"Those are some powerful words there jockstrap. I'd like to see you back it up."

Turk and Perry gave each other a death glare for a long painful minute. Carla stood in-between them, unsure of what to do. It seemed that at any second the two men would start a fist fight. God that's all JD needed.

"Turk." Carla growled at her husband. "Go and see JD. Now." It was an order not a suggestion. And by her tone of voice Turk knew she meant it.

With a final look, the surgeon gathered up the stuff dog in his arms and walked briskly out. Carla then turned to Dr. Cox, the older man staring after the other. His fists were shaking at his side, his face red with anger.

"Perry…"the nurse said cautiously.

"Save it." He grounded out between his teeth. "Your hubby can do what ever he damn well pleases. He wants to play guardian angel then let him strap on the wings. See if I give a rat's ass."

For the second time that day he brushed passed Carla angrily, striding out the door with powerful steps. Moments later, the sound of a fist hitting the wall echo down the hall. Carla let out a low sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Great. I've got one who's now a girl, and two acting like jealous teenagers. This is just perfect."

00000

Turk ignored the stares of his co workers as he made his way down the halls, Rowdy held bridal style in his arms. His eyebrows towered over his eyes, a scowl on his lips. Sometimes he really wished that he could beat the crap out of the older doctor. If his wife wasn't there he probably would have thrown the first punch.

He didn't care what Carla said. Cox was bad road. Yeah he was a good doctor, and yeah at times he could be tolerable, but the way he treats JD wasn't. There was no way under God's sun that he was going to let that bastard torture JD after this. His friend didn't deserve it. He never did.

He couldn't really understand why JD cared about Dr. Cox so much. The guy was a total ass hole, and when ever JD tried to be friend the guy he would either rant at his face or physical tell him to back off. It pissed Turk off to no end.

Turk was surprised that Dr. Cox stayed in the emergency room with him when he brought JD in. He was even more shocked by the pure panic on his face. They both had watched JD morph into a woman. Why was it that the big bad Dr. Cox was the one who couldn't come into the room? It was his best friend! He's the one who saw the bastard who did this! Why was Cox more afraid than he was?

Before he realized it he was standing outside his best friend's door, staring down the door knob. A lump of worry appeared in his throat. He hadn't seen his friend since JD had found out what he had changed into. What If he didn't want to see any body? Worse; what if he blamed Turk for not coming in time to stop the man?

Some how his hand had found the knob, pushing the door open slowly. He looked inside the grey room, seeing a pile of messy raven hair stacked on the pillow. Turk was going to close the door and let his Vanilla bear sleep, but he heard a loud moan come from JD, causing him to stop.

"God I'm going to have to start shaving now. Dammit!"

Turk found himself smiling, opening the door further. No matter what JD now looked like; no matter what JD now sounded like; it was still his best friend. That was something no drug could take away.

"Hey V-bear," Turk said coming into the room and set the dog at his feet. JD's shoulder's twitched at the sound of his nickname. He turned over, looking at his best friend with a strange expression. Turk couldn't tell if it was a look of worry or a look of… disappointment.

Why would JD be disappointed to see him?

His best friend sat up, the new, longer hair falling in front of his face. "Hey C-bear," JD said with a small smile. The smile however turned into a huge grin when he spotted their stuffed dog. "ROWDY! You brought him here!!"

"Yep," Turk grinned, "Thought you would want some company."

JD leaped out of bed, swaying slightly from the over excited movement. Turk was about to help him but his friend seemed to regain his bearings, walking over to him and kneeling in front the taxidermy animal.

"Hey boy, I've missed you." JD hugged the dog, petting its newly cleaned coat-no thanks to Carla.

About the millionth time since the attack happened, Turk felt guilt settle in his gut. JD was like this because he wasn't looking out for him; because he couldn't reach him in time. Since college, Turk has always watched out for JD, and the one time he wasn't with him, JD was hurt. How could he ever forgive himself?

"I'm sorry," Turk found himself saying unable to keep it inside any longer. JD went still in front of him, looking up in a mixture of shock and sorrow. "God, I'm so sorry."

"I knew something was wrong when you didn't come back. I went to the Snow Cone stand and you weren't there. I was going to call you when I heard a scream; your scream. At first I thought I imagined it, but other people heard it too. A woman actually called the police. I started running then, calling your name. It was all a blur. I don't know how I ended up near the woods, but suddenly I was standing above the incline looking down on you and…that sick fuck…"

JD visibly shivered. Turk felt rage grow inside his chest, replacing his guilt. He leaned down to his best friend, putting both his hands on his shoulder. A blush came across JD's cheeks, and it seemed to take a lot of effort for him not to look away.

"I promise to you JD, I will never abandon you like that again. I will always have your back. I won't ever let anything hurt you again. I swear it. Just please, please forgive me."

JD was silent, and for a second Turk thought the worst. JD's warm, smaller hands came on top of his, his eyes glistening. "Turk, there's nothing to be sorry for. If you didn't show up when you did, I wouldn't be here right now. You saved me. Thank you dude."

"I do what I do." Turk smiled.

Tears fell from JD's eyes, and he lowered his head sobbing. Turk was taken aback. "Dude what's wrong?!" he asked worried.

"Nothing," he cried, "I'm just so happy you don't hate me. And I'm completely hormonal right now!"

Turk laughed. "Come on JD. Let's get you back to bed. I got you something else too." He reached into his pocket and pulled a Reese's bar out of his pocket. "I snuck it past Carla. I thought you would be craving something else besides IV fluid."

JD's eyes widen in happiness. "Super Bear you rule!" He flung his arms around Turk, sandwiching Rowdy between them. Turk hugged his friend tightly back. Yep, JD was still JD.

And Turk vowed that he wouldn't let any one else hurt him again.

00000

Dr. Cox leaned against the wall outside of Newbie's room, watching him-_her_- hug Turk from the open door. Normally there would have been a smart remark on his lips, ready to embarrass the two idiots. But looking at JD now, with Ghaundi, the older man didn't feel amused or irritated.

Silently he arched off the wall and headed down the hall, hands deep in his pocket. He didn't like the feeling swelling up in the pit of his stomach. It was something he hadn't felt for a long time, and it was really bothering him.

He felt jealous. Not like he was going to admit it though.

* * *

I had alot of fun writing Cox! I tell you what though he can be difficult. There probably wont be too many of the third person, the next is going back to JD, but hey tell me how you like it! I love hearing what you guys think. And if you have ideas or something you want to see please tell me! My beta loves doing it =D


	5. Too much to Handle

Hello lovely readers! Here's Chapter Five for you! This one's not going to be too angsty. Just something kinda fun =D

Since it's christmas break, I thought I would warn you that the next updat might be kinda slow. I have been able to work too much on it, but don't worry it's coming along!

Thanks for all your reviews! They're the reason I write! ENJOY!!!

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I sit cross legged on my bed, twiddling with my hair and cuddling to my pillow. I stare absently at my pathetic excuse for food not wanting to eat. I know Carla said that I needed to wait a bit to eat solid food, but this soup is ridiculous! It was cold when the nurse brought it to me, and I pretty sure that that isn't corn floating in the dark colored broth. Besides, if I digested anything now, I would probably blow chunks everywhere.

I keep replaying the argument with Dr. Cox over and over again, the way he had lashed out, told me he was a coward, actually telling me that he cares. It was hard to keep myself from blushing. Worst of all; He made my heart throb. And not in the holy-crap-he's-going-to-beat-me-with-a-hammer way, but in an honest to god, I-think-I'm-falling-for-you, throb.

I groan out loud, burying my head into the pillow. This can not be happening! Why of all times did this have to happen? I could not in a hundred, billion, trillion years be feeling these things for my mentor! It was just impossible! Sure I respect him, and I look up to him like a father, but when did all the sudden become more?! There are just so many reasons that this was wrong. I mean for one he's so much older than I am.

_Not really, and beside he looks incredibly good for his age._

He's a total asshole and a dick towards me.

_Not all the time. That's just how he shows his affection._

He's rude to every one around him.

_I think it gives him a certain charm._

He drinks scotch all the time.

_What do you call appletinis?_

He has a wife and child.

_**Ex**__wife who he is separated with and you're good with kids._

He couldn't handle a stable relationship.

_How many people have you been through? _

Not cool brain.

_Just saying…_

And the biggest, reason of all: HE'S A GUY!!

_…..Well if you haven't noticed… you're kinda girl now._

"You're supposed to be on my side!!!" I scream out loud throwing the pillow at the wall in anger. A hear a small cough, and whip my head around, Molly standing in the doorway smiling.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asks walking in and sitting down beside me.

"Only my ultimate melt down." I mutter falling sideways onto the bed, facing away from her. "What are you doing here any ways?"

"I'm here to deliver some news to you! Everyone else was busy so I decided to come and tell you." I tilt my head towards her.

"What kind of news?" I ask wearily.

"Well," She starts moving my tray of crap soup to the end table, lying down beside me, "I guess I would call it a brief synopsis of everything that's happened while you've been out. Lets deal with the police first. Turk gave them his statement already, and a brief description of the man, so they're looking into the database to see if anything comes up. They're sort of stuck right now, and they're waiting for you to get better and more 'adjusted' before you can give them your statement."

Whoopi. "So they do know what happened?"

Moll nods. "Yeppers, but they're keeping it under wraps from the locals. We got the big boys working on this one." I groan again, sticking my face in the mattress. "Don't worry Johnny, they'll find out who did this to you!"

"Can you just give me some other news, something that won't make my week worse?"

Her eyebrows scrunch up in thought, turning upright so she was facing the ceiling. "Hmm…let's see oh! Kelso's going to let you come back to work next week, as long as we keep you under a female alias towards your patients."

"How is that suppose to make me feel better?!"

"You get your job back! And the only reasons that were doing this are so the patients don't ask questions. And the FBI agent orders us too. But, under law you need to be 100% okay, physically and mentally. So I'm going to your psychiatrist! Won't that be fun!!?"

About as much fun as sticking my head in an old oven.

Molly sits up abruptly and leans over me. I meet her eyes, her face holding a perplex expression.

"What?" I ask slightly annoyed.

"It's funny. You seem to be adapting quite well to your situation. Now I'm not saying you're happy about being a woman, but you've accepted it. Guess Dr. Cox did the trick and broke you."

"Broke me?"

The blonde nods, "Not on purpose, hell it took a lot of pestering from Elliot and Carla to get him in here, but it was a good thing. You needed to release all that pent up emotion. Keeping your feelings, especially after something as dramatic as this, bottled up isn't healthy. It's a nice first step to healing. Though, I'll admit Dr. Cox pinning you up against the wall was a little unorthodox."

My cheeks flush at her words, my heart racing again. Dammit female emotions stop being a pain in the ass!

"Come to think of it, he has been acting strange lately."

That was news to me. "Really?" I ask, trying not to sound too interested.

"Yeah, but it was obvious why, he was worried about you, though he would never admit it. We all were. But he seems to be in his own little world since you woke up. He keeps to himself mostly, not conversing or yelling at anyone. Kelso even got him to work extra shifts, without getting insulted or anything."

"Why is he acting like that?" I say loudly, "Is he out of his mind! And he shouldn't be taking on so much work, he'll wear himself out! Jesus he barely gets enough time off as it is. I need to go talk to him." I go to move but the huge triumphant smile appears on Molly's face stops me. "What?"

"Aww I knew it!!" she says happily, my face falling.

"Knew what?" I ask worried. She lets out a squeal, jumping off the bed and clapping her hands excitingly. I sit up looking at her with a crazy expression. "What Molly. What do you know?"

She twirls towards me taking my hands in hers. "Isn't it obvious goober? You have a crush on Dr. Cox!"

My brain fizzes out.

"I noticed it before when I worked here, but I just dismissed it as over obsessive hero worship. But now that you're not the same sex anymore, you two are able to look at each other differently and open your mind to the idea."

"I'm not gay?!" I scream at her, my face becoming as red as a tomato.

"Who said you were. And whose says that it matters anyway. Love comes in many shape and forms, and ignoring it is just as bad as ignoring an illness."

"But…but I can't. He's my mentor…" I can't put my head around the idea. It was just too weird and too much from me to handle at this point.

Molly notices my reactions. "Johnny, don't freak out on me. I'm just playing with you. If you say you don't have a crush on Dr. Cox you don't." I could tell by her voice that she didn't believe it. "But you do need to talk to him. You need to tell him your okay, in your own special way. Maybe he'll start to come around, and be a grouch again." She looks at her watch. "But my 2 o clocks about to be here so I better run."

She gives me a reassuring pat of the head then walks towards the door, stopping at the edge. "Why don't you try getting up and walking around? Maybe take a stroll around the hospital. Who knows who you might bump into? Doctors orders." She winks at me and skips out leaving me just as confused and frazzled as before.

Should I go look for him? Is he really worried about me? He might just be in one of his moods. Still… I do need to get used to this body of mine. Maybe a stroll wouldn't be so bad.

My decision made I stand from my bed, slipping on my pink bunny slippers and a light blue robe Carla snatched for me. With one last breath I head towards the door standing right on the crack that divided the room from the hall.

"Feet…don't fail me now!" I mumble to myself, and walk out of my room.

00000

Okay, I lied. Taking a stroll around the hospital was not a good idea.

I could feel everyone's eyes on me, watching silently as I made my way down the hall. Under wraps my ass the whole damn hospital knows! God I'm so mortified! They're all looking at me like I'm some freak. Deep breaths JD, deep breaths. You're going to get through this. Jesus weren't these idiots told that staring isn't polite!

An arm envelopes in mine, making me jump back. Elliot smiles at me, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "I see some one's out and about. Going anywhere specific?"

"Nope," I lie, though I was so happy to have someone with me, "Just taking a little stroll."

She rolls her eyes, "JD, Molly paged me. If you need help finding Dr. Cox I can take you to him."

I blush furiously. "I am not looking for Dr. Cox!?"

"AWWWW" Elliot coddles, pulling me into a tight hug, "You are so adorable, you little fibber!"

"I'm not getting out of this am I?" I whine against her shoulder. She pulls away, taking my hand in hers.

"No way!" she says happily dragging my protesting body with her towards the nearest elevator. She pushed the third floor button while swinging our entwined limbs as we waited patiently.

I look at Elliot, her face bubbly and clueless as usual. We used to date, we've made love, and I broke her heart. She's one of my best friends. With our crazy history how could she be so perfectly content with me in this body?

"Isn't this weird to you?" I finally ask, unable to keep it inside any longer. Our arms slow, settling at our sides. She looks at me with a confused smile.

"What's weird?" she asks tilting her head to the side.

"Well…this…well me…being a girl….I'm mean with our history" She laughs out loud stopping me from finishing. "What's so damn funny?!"

"Sorry JD, it's just, no offense or anything, but you've always kind of been on the girly side. Sure it's a little-- okay it's totally, creepy, sc-fi strange that you're a woman," She pokes at my chest, looking at me sincerely. "But in here, you're still the goofy, loveable JD that I know and love. And what we had was special, but we've both moved on for the better. What matters is that were still best friends; no matter what."

A huge smile appears on my face, my hand tightening in hers. "Thanks Elliot. I really needed to hear that."

She smiles warmly back. "Anytime JD. But you do know this makes us lesbian lovers now."

I laugh. "I like it! It's pretty kinky, though I'm going to have to pass on any threesomes with you and Keith."

"We're wild enough without you!" she wags her eyebrows at me, both of us giggling. It was nice, being able to act normal around her again. Maybe it won't be so hard to get the same relationship back with Dr. Cox.

The elevator door opens, Elliot tugging me inside. "Now come on sexy, let's go find that man of yours."

"For the last time he's not my man!!"

00000

Elliot and I reach the desired floor crawling on all fours as we make are way slowly down the hall. We come to a halt as the nurses' station comes into view, Elliot stopping me at the corner with her hand.

"Why are we stopping? And why the hell are we peaking around the corner all shady?"

"Because one thing stands between you and Dr. Cox," Elliot whispers, pointing to where Carla and Turk are standing, "The married couple."

I frown. "Why would they be a problem?"

"For one Carla would go into extreme mother hen mode and shoo you back to bed. Two if Turk found out why you were up here he'd drag you to your room."

I pale. "I don't think I want to do this anymore…"

"Don't flake on me now JD! We'll figure out something." She reassures, watching our unsuspecting friends intently. If she keeps staring at them like that they're going to catch on fire.

A hand grabs at my robes belt, yanking me off the ground with a girlish yelp. I fall against a hard chest. I glare up angrily at the person, ready to snap at them, but my words die in my throat, my inside going cold.

"Well, well, well," The Janitor smiles down at me, my face draining of all color. Why out of all the people in this god forsaken building does he have to find me?! "Look what I've found. Scooterella! What are you doing on the ground, trying to scuff up my newly buffered floor?"

"What? No! I wasn't trying to do,"

"JD what are you- oh hey Janitor!" Elliot gasps a smile breaking on to her face. "What are you doing with JD?"

"Blonde Doctor!" He yells in surprise, his arm wrapping around my shoulders in a friendly fashion. "I thought girly boy here had fallen so I was helping him back up!"

"You're such a liar," I mutter fiercely.

"Shut it or I'll throw you in the dumpster." He grumbles back. Well this relationship hasn't changed.

"That's so sweet," Elliot sighs, earning an eye roll from me. Her eyebrows shoot up as an idea hits her, pushing the two of us back against the wall.

"Hey Janitor could you do me a huge favor?" Elliot whispers.

The janitor smiles and nods his head. "Of course milady, whatever you ask."

"I need you to distract Turk and get him out of the ICU. In fact just get him off this floor entirely. Think you can do that?"

The smile on the custodians face turns wicked. "It will be my pleasure."He releases his hold on me and casually shoves me into the wall. With a crooked smile I know all too well he throws his mop over his shoulder and proceeds towards Turk and Carla.

"What in God's name would possess you to ask help from the Janitor?" I hiss at Elliot. She huffs at me.

"Because we were out of options and he's a nice guy! I knew he would be willing to help."

Yeah he's about as nice as a savage bear!

As the Janitor walks by Turk, his hand swings out, catching my CB by the arm. He precedes to the double doors, draggling along my alarmed friend, Carla watching in confusion.

"Come along black man."

"Dude what the hell?!" Turk shouts being escorted forcibly out the double doors. Carla just shakes her head and continues to shuffle the papers in front of her. I groan loudly, banging my head against the wall.

"That was… a different way to approach it but it worked all the same!" Elliot says positively.

I'm really starting to wonder if it is worth talking to Dr. Cox or not.

Elliot stands from her position on the ground, straightening her white coat. Her hand goes into her pocket, retrieving her cell phone. "Now that the husbands gone, I'll distract the wife," she wags the phone in front of my face. "Something you're going to learn about being a girl. Pretty ones love taking pictures."

"Now listen JD, While I'm distracting Carla you need to try and find Dr. Cox. He should be nearby. When I see him I'll take the picture, and when my phone flashes bolt. Got it?"

"You're getting a little too into this."

She shrugs, "A little."

With a wink she skips towards Carla, standing by the station to where I was blocked from view. Her voice carries to where I sit, her words going a mile a minute. Poor Carla. I start to crawl after Elliot, a few people walking by and staring at me strangely. At least they aren't saying anything to blow my cover. Shit now I'm getting too into it!

I stop behind a gurney, catching sight of a familiar lab coat blowing into a room. I hold my breath for what felt like minutes, until I see Dr. Cox come back out of the room, looking absently at the chart.

He walks briskly towards the nurse station, tossing the chart onto the counter near Elliot, who was too busy distracting to see it come at her. It creates a loud bang, making her scream loudly. "Frick it!"

She covers her mouth in fear spotting Dr. Cox not two feet from her. I wince, waiting for the tongue lashing he's going to give her. He turns to face her, rolling his eyes and walking back down the hall, like nothing had happened.

What the hell? Why did he not just yell at her? Any other time he would have chewed us out until his face turned blue. What's going on with him?

Something flashes through my memory. Dr. Cox says he was scared…scared about me not being the same in I woke up. Maybe that's what he needs; something to make him know that I'm still the same person on the inside.

"That poor, poor idiot," Carla tutts, filing some papers, "I just don't see why he won't just go and talk to JD. He's too damn proud for his own good."

"Well you never know Carla maybe JD will talk to him!" I know Elliot's directing the last part at me, shouting it in the direction I was in.

"Why are you shouting?" Carla asks.

"Oh no reason, you look pretty today, let's take a picture!"

Carla's right, he's too proud to talk to me. I need to make the first move. Hell I always make the first move. But what can I do? What could I possibly do that would make him snap back into his old self?

Dr. Cox is stopped by a nurse, the two talking briskly. My eyes widen. This is my only chance. I know what I need to do. There is only one thing that irritates Dr. Cox more than anything. If I can accomplish that, then maybe, just maybe, he'll be his old self. Though, 'it' might cost me my life.

I see a small flash out of the corner of my eye and I know that it's now or never. I shoot up from the floor, kicking off the useless slippers and sprint downs the hall. Running is defiantly different with woman parts. Downstairs is roomier, but up on top feels bouncy. Yep, the list of annoying woman things just keeps on growing.

I wiz by the nurse station, hearing Carla shout a 'JD?' in surprise. Dr. Cox hears the nurse's voice as well, turning slowly in our direction; a curious and irritated look on his face.

It's too late to stop, too late to turn back. With a silent prayer I spread my arms wide as I run to my mentor, leaping forward and throwing my limbs around his mid section.

"BEAR HUG!!"

I crash into Dr. Cox with a powerful hug, sending the shock doctor to the ground by sheer force. My head knocks against his chest, a violent flash hitting my brain. I lay on top of my mentor, my arms pinned under him. I pale. This wasn't how I pictured it. I hear Elliot and Carla gasp loudly, other occupants in the hallway stopping to watch.

We lie like that for a few dreadful beats. Underneath me I can hear the older doctor's heart racing. A blush starts to creep on my cheeks, but the deep, violent growl emanating from Dr. Cox's chest stops it. Two powerful hands grasp my arms painfully, lifting me up off his body to come face to face with an enraged looking Dr. Cox.

"What the fuck do you think your doing Whitney?" he snarls furious and shaking with barely contained rage. Hey, I think I got him back to normal. Hooray!!

…..wait.

I gulp. Shit.

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Review or get a lump of coal in your stocking. Merry Christmas!!


	6. Carry Me!

Wow. That took way too long to upload. I am really sorry about that, but me and my beta had a busy christmas break!! I also had alot of trouble writing this chapter. AKA I had a brain fart. But thanks to an awesome 8th season premeire I am feeling the inspiration!!! STEAK NIGHT!!

Okay enough of that. Heres number 6. ENJOY!!

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This really must look horrible to the on lookers; Dr. Cox lying flat on the ground, rage contorting his features, while I'm being held above him, merely two inches away from his face. It's dead silence around us, the only sounds were Cox's furious breathing and my panicked heart beat. They all stand there in fear and curiosity, waiting for my impending doom. Assholes.

Maybe I should have rethought the whole 'Give Cox a hug plan', because this was not the scene I pictured in my head. I was hoping that giving him such a dazzling embrace would spark some familiarity of my male self, snapping him out of this weird funk and get him to gripe or rant at me. Or maybe even a hug back. A girl can dream can't she? But seeing as I accidently knocked him to the ground and now he's staring up at me looking _beyond_ pissed, I'm judging that it had a different result.

Dr. Cox's pushes us both into a sitting position on the floor fingers dig into my arm painfully, his grip becoming tighter. Okay that's definitely going to bruise. "Did I stutter Stephanie? What in God's name popped into that peanut size brain of yours that would have you barrel down the hall and maul someone, namely me, to the floor?! I mean good lord Newbie it makes me wonder if we need to install a filter in your noggin so you won't do the first thing that sneaks it's way up there!"

I smile down at him awkwardly a nervous laugh passing my lips while I fail to wiggle out of his ironclad grasp. "You looked… down in the gutter?" Stupid thing to say, stupid thing to say!

His eyes narrow dangerously at me, wiping the forced grin clear off my face. "Newbie, the next thing that comes out of your mouth better be some what intelligent or I swear I will not hold my self responsible for what will happen."

I press my lips together, biting the inside of my mouth. Don't utter a word, do not say anything, just keep quiet, resist temptation to speak. You know that anything you say at this point will trigger his small temper. Be quite as a mouse….focus on quiet breathing…

"You've got… an extra bounce in your curls today!"

I pale. Oh dear God I must have some sort of death wish. How the hell was that the first thing to come out of my mouth? I mean yes they do look extra boingy today, especially in the light reflecting off the flooring; curse my random thought process. And now he's snarling at me and bearing his teeth, abort JD, ABORT!!

"Wrong Answer Sheila."

Well, if I were to look at this half glass full at least I got the man to return to normal.

"Okay that's enough!!" Carla barks making her way towards us, Elliot's heels clicking behind her. "Shows over people, now get back to work. This is a hospital, not a soap opera! GO!" the few attendees still gawking at us scurried off at the sight of the nurse's expression, leaving the four of us alone. Thank you Carla and all the Latina people! For a moment I thought he was going to grind me into dust!

I feel two pair of feminine hands grab each one of my arms, pulling me gingerly from Cox's grasp. "Jesus JD, are you okay?" Carla asks, the two women helping me into standing position, the woman checking silently for any apparent injuries.

From Cox's expression as I'm pried away from him it's highly doubtful. "Probably won't be."

"What the hell was that?" Elliot whispers franticly in my ear while I lean against her, "Normally when one tries to engage in conversation with the opposite sex, they usually don't ram them into the ground!"

I hiss back, "For your information it was a loving hug and it's not my fault that I put too much emotion into it! BTW you suck at distracting!"

"Well, it doesn't look like you hurt yourself," Carla states, too busy checking for injuries to hear mine and Elliot's whispers, "Poor Bambi, are you sure your okay?"

"Am I invisible or something?" Dr. Cox asks irritably, leaning on his palm of his hands. "If any of you peons noticed I was tackled to the ground by little miss dainty there and I would appreciate some help." He holds his arm out, waving his hand dramatically at Carla.

She rolls her eyes, "You're a big boy, I'm sure you can pull yourself up," The nurse grabs his hand anyway, helping him off the ground, though I'm pretty sure that Dr. Cox didn't really need it.

The older doctor crosses his arms, flicking his nose in the process. I press myself into Elliot, wanting to escape the glare of doom emanating from his eyes. "Don't think you've gotten out of the woods yet Newbie. Once Nurse Hen is done clucking over you, you're mine."

"Oh don't you worry Dr. Cox, I think I have enough to say for the both of us," The nurturing side of Carla quickly evaporates into bossy stern nurse Carla. Oh dear, not a good sign. "What the _hell_ are you thinking JD? You just woke up from a coma four days ago! Did it occur to you that you might still be running a fever? Or that your body is still too weak to handle too much exertion? And yet here you are, running around the hospital, alone, mauling people down in the middle of the hallway!"

"It was Elliot's idea." I quickly place the blame on the blonde behind me, hearing her gasp at my traitorous act. Well screw it, girls are bitchy anyway, and I am so not taking all the responsibility for being dragged up here in the first place.

Carla narrows her eyes at her best friend. "You encouraged this? Elliot!"

"Molly paged me and said that she thought it was a good idea for JD to get out and get used to his… her… new body. I was just the escort!" Elliot says franticly in a high pitched squeal. Wow we are just placing the blame left and right!

Cox's eyebrow shoots up. "Wait a minute. Little Mary Sunshine was appointed Red Riding Hood's psychiatrist? Oh that's just a big hell no!"

"What's wrong with Molly?" Elliot and Carla ask at the same time, going on the defensive. Yeah no more attention on me!

"Well besides the fact that there is more air occupying her brain than an actual intellect I'd say a lot. Like everything."

Elliot takes a couple of steps in front of me, crossing her arms. "Molly is one of the best psychiatrists in the country! We're lucky to have her here. True they're friends and that's usually not ethical, but it's probably better they do know each other and we know Molly won't go babbling about his condition to anyone! We know Molly will be trustworthy and that's who JD needs to get better!"

"But I'm fine," I say weakly, feeling a painful pulse start up at my temples.

"Elliot's right," Carla cuts me off, "besides Kelso's not going to hire another psych when he has a terrific one on pay roll here."

"Of course penny saving Bobby would do such a thing," Cox mutters mostly to himself. He looks at the two ladies, "That still doesn't justify that a sick patient just tackled me to the ground. I'm pretty sure Golly Molly didn't tell him to do that!"

The attention of the trio slowly came back to me. No, no, go back to Molly dammit! The pain in my head starts to increase, my body suddenly feeling weak. Great, now I really am starting to feel sick.

"You guys are being worry warts," I lie though now I have a picture of Carla, Elliot and Dr. Cox as warts on my arm nagging me. That was too weird; even for me. "I feel perfectly healthy!"

A soft hand is pressed against my forehead; Carla's face an inch from mine. I back up involuntarily "Well, Miss Healthy, if you feel so great than why are you still running a fever? Gosh you are burning up!"

I want to reply it's probably nothing, but a wave of nausea hits me, my vision swimming. Without warning my legs buckle underneath me, almost sending me into an ugly heap if not for a strong arm wrapping around my waist. I didn't even realize Dr. Cox was behind me until he pulls me slowly into a standing position, my back supporting against his chest.

"Jesus JD, I swear you're more trouble to watch out for than Jack." Dr. Cox sighs. I barely hear him on the count that all my attention was focusing on his arm still securely enclose across my mid section.

"I-I'm okay now," I mumble blush rushing to cover my face, "I just got a little dizzy. You can let go," Though a part of me doesn't want him to. No female side, stop making me feel strange!!

He grunts, "like I will," and suddenly I'm being scooped off the ground with a girly yelp and placed into Dr. Cox's arms bridal style.

"What the hell?" I shriek.

"I'm taking you to your room. God knows if you walk back by yourself you'll just trip or faint or get lost. Unless you two gals have a problem with it," he looks at Elliot and Carla, both failing miserably to keep from smiling.

"OH no, Dr. Cox you go on ahead," Elliot chirps rather too cheerfully.

"Yeah, I have to change an IV in Mrs. Baxter's room anyway," Carla says, though she makes no move to do such a thing.

I can feel, rather than see Dr. Cox's dramatic eye roll as he turns to walk back the way I came, leaving me to look over his shoulder at my two female friends, waving and grinning madly at our departing forms. Carla whispers good luck with thumbs up, while Elliot pulls out her phone, either to take a picture or to call Molly. Or both. The flash blinds me. Definitely both.

We round the corner and I try as hard as I can to keep my body stiff as possible, my arms glued to my sides. There's no way I'm wrapping them around his neck no matter how freaking uncomfortable this position is. I will not make any further contact with the man than I am doing now. Not if I wish to live.

"You know Lacey, this shy act is really just adorable and all but for the love of God can you stop fidgeting and just wrap your arms around me. I know you've been waiting for the perfect opportunity so don't get cold feet on me now,"

"You don't care?"

"Care yes. Wanting you to actually not fall out of my grasp and break something is more important. So come on wrap those twigs around me. I won't bite. "

This is like a dream. A very, strange and happy dream that shouldn't be happening but it is. Not that I'm complaining! Slowly, I wrap my arms loosely around him, mumbling a small 'They're not twigs' under my breath, enlacing my fingers at the back of his neck.

He looks down at me with a raised eyebrow. "Oh wipe that girly grin off your face. You are enjoying this way too much."

"Well, technically I am a girl now." I still smile.

Cox hesitates for quick moment before continuing walking, his face becoming hard and expressionless. My smile drops as well, finding the fugly patterns on my hospital gown more interesting to look at than him. Smooth JD way to make an awesome moment completely uncomfortable. I'm such an idiot.

We come to the elevator and it opens immediately, lift empty. He steps inside of it, and after a few agonizing moments the silver door silently close us in. For the second time this week we are completely alone again.

"It really bothers you doesn't it." I say in low voice, unable to take the horrid silence that is consuming the small space, "that I'm a woman now."

"JD,"

I cut him off. "No it's okay. I mean its not, but hey you're not avoiding me or anything, and you are basically carrying me back to my room so I know you don't hate me. You're just uncomfortable around me. And well hell, I'm still uncomfortable around me."

When he continues to be silent I speak again, "I'm amazed that everyone else can deal with this like it's not a big deal. Carla smothers me with mothering, Turk wants to protect me, Elliot and Molly have a new girlfriend, and the Janitor still tortures me. They've accepted my change. But I really haven't; not fully anyway."

"I guess that's why I gave you a hug today, although that plan blew straight up in my face," I sum up the courage to look up, seeing his blue eyes staring back, "I guess that a part of me thought that maybe, if I could have you accept me on some level that everyone else has; that maybe I can start to accept myself as well."

"So," Cox says in a husky voice, his breath breezing across my bangs, "You decided that annoying the hell out of me just so I would treat you the same is worth risking your recovery?"

"Pretty much," I shrug.

The elevator dings, signaling that we come to our floor. But before the doors could slide open, his hand shoots out from under my legs, my feet hitting the ground his finger jams the close button, leaving us stuck in the small space. My hands fall slowly back to my sides, pushing away from him.

"What are you-"

"Listen here Roxie," Cox snarls leaning into me. If I wasn't so terrified by his stare, I'm sure I'd be blushing. "You're going to pay attention and I mean it because I'm only going to say this once. I don't care if you shave your head, dye your skin blue, and become an obsessed groupie for that band that loves to bang on objects repeatedly and call it music, I… I will still accept you. After all the stupid crap you and gumball have accomplished over the years I thought you would have realized that by now. If you want me to degrade you and yell at you then fine, I'll be more than happy to oblige. But never, and I mean never ever_ ever_, risk your own health for my sake. Do you hear me?"

"Yes Dr. Cox," I nod unsure of what to say.

"Good. And if you so much as whisper to your gal pals about any of this I'm going to deny it then force you to dye your skin blue."

I crack a smile watching as he pushes the button again, the doors slowly opening back to my floor. He studies me for a quick second, seeing that I'm standing properly on my own two feet.

"You think you can walk the rest of the way?"

I deflate a little at the question, guessing that he didn't think he needed to escort me any further. "Yeah," I wince at hearing the clear disappointment in my voice. "I'm good from here. Thanks Dr. Cox," I make a move to leave, but his hand snatches my wrist, tugging me back and almost causing me to trip.

"Whoa there Newbie, just because I'm going to let you walk doesn't mean I'm not coming with you. First shining object that catches your eye you're going to be bobbling towards it, and God only know where you would end up after that."

I can't help but smile, "Oh! Okay."

He rolls his eyes, though apart of me thinks it's out of amusement. His hand slips from my wrist and into my hand, guiding me out of the elevator and down a new hallway. My heart beat increases. Oh my fucking crap Dr. Cox is holding my hand. He's holding my hand, Omg, omg, breathe JD, breathe.

"Um…you don't have to hold my hand," I say breathlessly my cheeks burning red, "I'm not going to wander off or anything."

Cox actually grins down at me. "Don't insult me Rosie, I know you better than that. Besides it's not like you haven't dreamt of this moment for the last few years."

Damn he's a mind reader!

I can't help but notice as everyone in the hall turns to stare after us as we pass, whispers following our fleeting forms. Oh screw it; I could care what they're saying. I'm so damn giddy right now it's taking every once of will power not to skip along as we walk. Hmm, maybe I could prance instead. I wonder if Cox would care either way.

….

He would probably hit me.

"Well look at what we have here," Nurse Robert voice pulls me out of my thoughts. She sets a file down on the counter, smiling smugly as she leans back, feet propped up. "Dr. Cox. Don't you and Cue tip look sweet as can be, holding hands like young lovers. Oh this makes me wish I had my camera."

If it was possible to turn redder, I would have looked like a tomato. I can't believe she just called us…I can't even think it….Ahhh!!

I glance up, and Dr. Cox's expression is anything but friendly, "Gosh Lee Laverne seeing your ever lovely face just reminded me of an article I read this weekend about people's opinion's who don't give a damn, and guess who's name was the listed there," he scowls, "So why don't you mind your own damn bees wax and go preach to some one who gives a rats ass."

Her feet fall from the desk, face scrunched in anger, "Oh no you just didn't."

A mocking smile is plastered on his face, "Oh I believe I just did." And without another word he storms off, dragging me rather painfully with him.

"Was that smart?" I ask as I regain m footing.

"Pretty sure I can handle myself."

"Yeah, but, you know she's just going to spread nasty rumors as revenge,"

"Listen Mary Ann, I really, and I mean this politely, could give a shit what gossip is said in this hell hole and that's straight from the heart. If nosy over there once to say something she very well can do it. It will only last, what two weeks? You'll just be starting up work again, so no worries."

"You make me feel so safe," I say deadpan as we make it to my room; finally. I pull rather forcefully away from him, making my way inside, plopping down on the bed.

The man follows me in, but €stops a foot from the bed, looking at the floor, "What the hell is that thing still doing here?"

"Rowdy keeps me company," I whine, "Plus I like having something to sleep with."

"The fact that you snuggle with a dead dog at night really tells me a lot about your sex life." His eyes locate my food tray still sitting by my bed. "See you haven't even touched your lunch."

"I ate a little," I lie tucking myself under the starchy blankets.

"Don't give me that. I have been a doctor for some odd years so I know when a patient is lying. When dinner comes, I want you to eat all of it or I'm going to stick a funnel in your mouth and force you to shallow every little bit. Clear?"

"Crystal." I frown, burring myself further into my bed, covers over my head. "I'm going to sleep." I say rather rudely hoping he'd take the hint to leave. Not that I really want him to. I mean yes I do. I'm tired. But I wouldn't care. No! Female side will not win Dammit!! I want him gone!

A deep sigh, his receding footsteps and the light being switch off answers my question. Now I feel like a bitch. I don't know why I got snappy with him. I should have at least said thank you. I sigh. I really need to get a handle on my emotions before I say or do something really stupid.

After a moment of silent, I snake my hand down and try to locate Rowdy, grabbing his leg and tugging him up with me. I curl into the dog, and with a deep satisfied sigh I close my eyes contently.

"It does bother me JD," Dr. Cox's voice is not above a whisper, but I can hear it clear as day. My eyes snap open under my cocoon, my heart beat pounding in my ears. How long had he been standing there? "It bothers me more than I care to admit; and all for the wrong reasons. Son of a bitch."

The door closes. I poke my head from out of my hiding place, Dr. Cox no longer there. What the hell was that? And what did he mean? And when did guys get more cryptic than girls? I groan frustrated lying face up and staring wide eye at the ceiling. Well there goes any chance of sleep.

* * *

Okay for the people who might be getting testy; Stalker boy and that whole thing is coming back in full force after another chapter or two. I swear!!! I really just need JD to get out of the hospital and a little adjusted before we send something major crashing. So please bear with me. There is more to that than meets the eye :3

Anywho thanks for reading LOVES!!!


	7. Going Home

Alright, before we get this thing rolling, I really need to give a special and awesome thank you to my beta reader Nuclear Kitty. She has put so much time and patience with this story and if it wasn't because of her, I wouldn't have the confidence and eagerness to keep writing =D I've never fully thanked you for helping me. I appricate all you've done hun!!!

Also, if you guys would, Nuclear Kitty also drew a Bad Ass fanfic for this story. So any one wanting to see a version of JD as a girl, this chick captured it quite perfectly!! The link is at the bottom of my account page so take a look!

Reviewers, you are freaking amazing! and I love reading everything you have to say!! Please keep it up!

Here's chapt. 7! enjoy!!!

* * *

One week.

I sigh heavily while drumming my fingers against my stomach, and I stare absently up at the ceiling. A certain brown stain caught my attention about twenty five minutes ago, and while I'm puzzling over how the hell it got up there, I realized how this stupid blot is the most interesting thing I've seen all flippin week.

Ever since the hug/tackle incident with Dr. Cox, I've been put on permanent room arrest, which sucks because, guess what, there's not a lot to do in the damn place but lie in bed! Being a patient is so different from working here. Usually I'm running around here so much I barely have anytime to myself. Now I have so much free time I could vomit.

The T.V. can only be entertaining for so long, and if I have to sit through another Judge Judy episode I'm going to cut myself. The food is anything but appetizing, and lying around in the bath tub isn't any fun with out bubbles.

Everyone comes to visit me now and then; Elliot and Molly always came and talked to me, I'll admit to adding a little to the conversations. Carla of course was always in and out checking on me, and surprisingly, Kelso came to check on me once or twice.

Turk probably stayed in my room the most, sneaking me candy bars and other desserts when Carla wasn't looking. C-Bear never really got over getting dragged away by the Janitor or the reason behind it; even though it wasn't my idea; Stupid Elliot. I did finally sum up the courage to ask him where the Janitor took him that day. He had paled slightly and answered, 'Dude, you honestly do not want to know.'

And I believed him.

The only one I haven't seen was Dr. Cox. The thought of not seeing him for so long sends a horrible pang through my heart. I know I shouldn't feel so hopeful when I see my door open, or deflate when I see it's one of my other friends and not him. But I can't help feeling that way. After what I heard, and what had happened, I can't help but think about him.

I asked Turk about Cox once, just a simple question of what he was up to, and shockingly, my best friend got really irritated. "Why should you care?" he snapped, "The guy's a dick. He doesn't deserve it." Apparently while I was out of commission, the two got into some argument because I've never seen Turk so mad at the Doctor; other than the time he punched me in the face.

I guess I have a reason to be excited today though. Dr. Kelso confirmed that I was ready to leave, and I could start work the day after. Carla and Turk got pissed by that, but I'm kind of excited to get back to work. I just want everything to get back to normal; or as least as normal as it could be.

And maybe I can finally see Dr. Cox.

God. I am truly a pathetic person.

The door to my room opens, my thoughts traveling back into reality. I look sideways to see two slender blonde women staring at me with huge smiles on their faces, huge shopping bags barley concealed behind their backs.

Woman senses are starting to tingle. This is an uh oh.

"Hiya Johnny!" Molly says stepping in further as Elliot closes the door firmly behind her. Both smiles are too sweet, and the looks of excitement in their eyes are not comfortable in the least.

"Hi…" I sit up slowly, eyeing the bags questionably. "Whatcha got there?"

Elliot's grin couldn't get any wider, "A surprise."

Oh dear. "What kind of surprise?" my voice cracks slightly. I gulp back my anxiousness.

"Well since today is the day that you're checking out of Sacred Heart," Elliot explains looking proud, "Molly and I pitched in and bought you some gifts for your departure!"

I perk up at this while leaning closer to the women excitedly, "Really? Aww you guys, you didn't need to spend your money on me!"

"Pfft. I wasn't a big deal at all," Molly smiles happily, setting her bundle gently on the floor, "besides everything we got was something you desperately needed before leaving."

"Need?"

She nods. "Well in order to convey that you're truly a woman you don't need to just act the part, you need to look it!"

"I don't think that's a serious issue," I grumble, frowning at them now. What the hell are they planning?

"Silly goose," Elliot laughs. She knows I hate being called a goose. "That not what she meant," her hand dives into one of Molly's discarded bags, pulling out one of the contents. "She means to look like a woman, you need to _dress_ like a woman!"

A bright teal top is pulled out of the bag and held high in the air for me to see. I can feel the color draining from my face.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Come on JD, you need female clothes! What did you think you were going to do wear guy pants and shirts all the time? That's going to look weird! You need to keep your cover!"

"I don't care!" I yell scooting back on the bed, "I'm not going to go anywhere besides work and the apartment. I don't need to dress up like some Barbie doll."

"Who ever said you had to dress up?" Molly asks, "We just got you a couple of cute outfits, some comfy wear, and undergarments. Stuff you are defiantly going to need and use."

"How _do_ you even know my size?"

"We had Carla knock you out about two days ago and we measured you." Elliot shrugs as if her answer was normal.

I gape at the pair. I don't know whether to be furious or terrified. All I could do was say, "Well that was uncalled for."

Molly now sticks her hand into a smaller bag, revealing some colored underwear. "And we really did try to get things you like. See, we got you underwear with little rainbows on it. And look, these have bunny rabbits."

I do like bunnies and rainbows. "I don't…I don't know about this…"

Elliot grabs my arm with her vice grip pulling me out of the bed with one tug, "Sorry sweetie, but you really don't have a choice in the matter."

Both women corner me, one holding a pair of purple poka dotted panties, the other a white bra. I feel myself shrink. I'm utterly screwed.

00000

"This thing is a god damned Rubik's cube!"

Elliot rolls her eyes at me, helping me clip the back of my bra, "you know, it's easier to clip it from the front first, then turning it around and slipping it on."

"I don't care," though that is helpful, "I don't want you two to see my…chest."

Molly laughs, "You're so adorable when you blush like that! Come on Johnny we're female doctors, we've seen our share of boobs before. And beside they can't be that bad. You have a cute toosh so you should have decent breast."

My face reddens, "You snuck a peek! I told you both to turn around when I was putting those damn panties on!"

This time its Elliot's turn to laugh. "Oh please, you actually expected us not to?"

I hate them so much right now.

"Alright, we've got the underwear on, now to pick out the outfit." Molly and Elliot start to dig through the bags, dumping all sorts of tops, jeans, skirts, and even a few boxes of shoes on the ground. Wow, they really did buy a lot for me. I feel myself smile as I watch them. They really did do a lot for me.

"Hey Elliot, you remember those smoking hott skinny red jeans we got?"

The other blonde looks ups, holding the pair in her hand, "You thinking what I'm thinking?" A confident smile graces her lips.

Molly matches her expression, "If you're thinking of those pants and the caramel colored dress with the fig print, then I believe so."

I have no idea what they're talking about. Aren't all jeans skinny? And what the hell is fig print? I sigh looking at the sea of bright clothes littering the floor. Guess I'm just going to have to trust them on this.

A knock on my door grabs everyone's attention, all eyes widening as it pushes swiftly open. Everything around me begins to slow, my mind unable to fully grasp what is happening.

Dr. Cox is standing there, a scowl on his face and his mouth open to say something crude. But as his eyes finally lock on to my panty and bra wearing, half naked body his expression freezes.

Elliot and Molly look like deer caught in head lights, Molly gaping at me while Elliot gapes at Dr. Cox.

My body is numb. My heart literally falls into my stomach and my brain just stops working altogether. Dr. Cox; my boss, my mentor, a man I might or might not have a crush on, is staring utterly petrified at me half exposed, his cheeks turning a deeper shade of red with each passing second. So I did the only thing my female hormones would let me come up with at that moment.

I scream my head off.

That brings everything back into motion.

Molly shoots up and stands in front of me, spreading her lab coat out and shielding me. "Don't look over here!!"

At the same time Elliot jumps from her position on the ground, running towards the door, tripping over her own two feet in the proces, shrieking, "Get out, get out get out!!" to Dr. Cox who quickly backs away, blinking rapidly and turning his face away from me.

"Dear God Barbie how about locking the door next," but is cut off as Elliot slams the door shut, locking it properly this time.

"I'll probably be killed later for that," she mumbles under her breath puffing the bangs out of her eyes.

"I thought you locked the door?" Molly half yells, lowering her jacket to her sides.

"Well, usually when I hospital door is closed, people usually get the hint to not fricking enter!"

"Well, it is Dr. Cox," I manage to say, my heart slowly from its irregular fast pace. I didn't even realize I was shaking. This is defiantly a moment that I wish I was back in a coma. Why oh why does he decide to come visit me at the worst possible moment in history? I think there's someone up in heaven pulling all these strings, and laughing there damn asses off.

"Buttholes," I mumble.

"You okay Johnny?" Molly asks, still standing close to me.

"Not especially," I let out a long breath, looking back at the two, "Let's just get this over with." I raise my arms over my head, "Dress me up." I don't think anything else could possibly get worse.

00000

The bathroom door slammed shut, the lock turning loudly in Dr. Cox's burning ears. He was at the sink in seconds, splashing cold water on his face. God it was taking sheer will power not to dunk his scolding head into the toilet right about now.

His skin was burning under his scrubs, his face beat red. His light eyes looked crazed in the small mirror, the front of his hair hanging damp in his face.

He was one sick fuck. Just looking at himself was making him want to bang his head into the wall repeatedly. What the hell was wrong with him?! God Dammit it made no fucking sense.

He was only going to tell JD not to over do it. Just because the idiot was getting out, didn't mean his/her body was 100% better. And he owed the kid, for avoiding him… dammit her, like the plague. Just in and out. He knew it would still earn a mega watt smile from Jillian.

But what the older man walked into…. Oh my god, he was expecting anything but that; Newbie imagining the bed was an airplane, Newbie chit catching with that damn stuff dog, hell even Newbie dancing away on his head phones.

But seeing JD standing there; skin bare and pale, in nothing but panties and a bra, looking so small and frail….ah fuck!!

Dr. Cox's forehead connected with the wall, sending a sharp pain through his skull. This was not happening. He could not, would not, feel that way about his colleague. Not for JD. The man didn't need this on top of the shit list that was already accumulating. But when he closed his eyes, the image was as clear as day: JD half dressed, with rosy cheeks that contrasted against flawless white skin. She looked beautiful. Perry Cox couldn't help but be turned on.

00000

"Alright, JD, we got you all signed out and everything, let's get you-_** Dude**_!"

A blush creeps into my cheeks as Turk stares at me mouth wide open. God I wish he wouldn't do that. I feel completely mortified as it is, what with freaking Molly and Elliot's awing and squealing.

"Bambi!!" It's Carla's turn to squeal, bouncing on her heels. "Just look at you! You're absolutely adorable!!!"

I my lower lip, looking uncertainly back in the mirror. I can see why Turk is so shocked; if I didn't know any better myself, I would think the reflection starting back at me really was a young woman. I wearing a cute sand sleeveless color dress, red 'fig' patterns decorating it. Under it I have red jeans, which fit tightly on my legs, showing off how small and fragile my new body is. Then the girls made me put on sand color ballet shoes, to match the dress. I have to admit; Elliot and Molly do know what they're doing when it comes to fashion.

I tuck a strand of my hair back behind my ear looking from my reflection to my friends. "Do I really look okay?"

Turk cracks a smile, "Okay? Dude you look great!"

"Don't get too excited," Carla scowls.

"Well, I see Dr. Dorian is looking just a peachy," Kelso comes in, walking right in the middle Carla and Turk, "How are we feeling?"

"I'm fine Dr. Kelso," I place a fake eager smile on my face, "Ready to come to work tomorrow morning."

"Excellent." He grins satisfied. "Now, sweetheart, you're going to need to get here on the bright tomorrow; in order to receive your new alias. Ted has been working day and night for the passed week for this, isn't that right Ted."

I jump slightly; see the depressed older man standing in the doorway, "Yes. Unfortunately I haven't slept in five days and am running souly on old coffee and a bag of peanuts."

"Quiet Ted, no one like a whiner," The Chief of medicine turns his attention to me again, "Now get out of here, I've already got another patient waiting." He struts out, a wobbly, disoriented Ted following.

"I think I'm going to try and get Ted to take a nap," Carla kisses Turk; "I'll see you when I get home."

"Bye baby." After she left, my best friend looks at the rest of us, "Alright buddy lets get you all packed up!"

Molly throws a small duffel bag at his direction, Turk barley catching it. "Here you go! We added some feminine toiletries in there for you too Johnny, like Deodorant, some perfume, and body bath!"

"Thanks," Turk mutters, throwing the bag over his shoulder.

"And here is all of the new clothes we got for him," Elliot dumps the five loaded bags onto Turk, "I would help you carry that out but, I got paged like fifteen minutes ago so I better skedaddle. Bye JD! See you tomorrow!!"

Turk watches her run off, appalled, "If you think I'm forgiving you about the Janitor now, you are dead wrong!!" he looks to Molly, "You gonna help devil woman?"

"Unfortunately I have an appointment in two minutes, plus you called me devil woman," She shrugs and does all but skips out, "See you Johnny, Turk!"

Turk glares daggers at her back, while she whistles softly down the hall. I cling to Rowdy, smiling nervously.

"Catchy tune," Turk now glares at me, though not nearly as dangerous. I stop smiling.

His expression changes in seconds, a familiar cocky grin on his lips. "Come on V-bear, let's get going. And no pit stops. I'm afraid if we stay some where too long you'll get hit on."

I frown at his teasing, "Shut up. It's not like I want to be dressed like this."

"What about the time you told me you use to dress up in your mom's outfits when she and Dan weren't home."

I quickly defend myself, "That was out of pure curiosity! Besides I wasn't a little kid!"

"You were eleven!"

"You know I was going to help carry some of those bags, but you can just do it yourself, _big macho man_."

Turk sneers. "Damn, you women are all the same!"

"SHUT UP TURK!!" I shriek, Turk's laughter carrying down the halls as we left Sacred Heart.

00000

I was so weird walking back into the apartment after almost a month. Everything still feels the same, warm and homey. The kitchen smells like pancakes from this morning and coffee. Carla has the laundry on the couch, most of it folded neatly in piles. I feel a sudden sadness when I notice that none of those things were mine.

I step into my room, the bed neatly made, and everything sitting in the exact place as before. Sun light slip through my window, warm rays resting on the floor.

"Yo JD, come and get all your damn clothes! I'm about to drop everything!" I rush back out to help Turk, dropping Rowdy softly by the couch.

"Dear God what did they buy you weights?"

I huff as I take on the surprisingly heavy bags, "Good Lord. How do women carry this all he time? Maybe that's way Carla's punches hurt so much."

Turk nods in agreement, making his way into the kitchen, tapping the answering machine button, red light blinking rapidly. _You have three new messages. First message sent yesterday…_ "You want a drink or something?" Turk calls out.

"Yeah," I yell back, throwing the bags onto the bed. I walk back into the living room, settling by Rowdy, "get me a soda or something with sugar. I've been deprived."

_Chris honey, this is your mother. Why haven't you called me back honey? You know it just makes me worry, after our conversation cut short because your tum- tum was so upset- _Turk presses the skip button, his glare competing with my wild grin.

"Upset tum-tum?"

His eyes narrow. "Not a word."

As I laugh the next message begins, the recorders voice filling the small place …_ sent today at eight forty four a.m. _

_Hello Mr. and Mrs. Turk, this is Detective Angelia Harris, we've spoken before at the office. _Turks body went completely still, his head whipping around to stare at the machine horrified. _I know this is short notice, but I received information that John Dorian was to be released this afternoon. I know this is short notice, but we've found some… disturbing information regarding the case. I've held off as long as I could, but this news makes it more pressing than ever. I need to get Dr. Dorian's statement. Since he is just being released I held off for tomorrow. I've spoken to your boss, Dr. Kelso, and he agreed to let us meet at Scared Heart, tomorrow at noon. _Tomorrow; that's my first day back. Why didn't Kelso say anything?!_ I know this is stressful and aggravating, believe me, but it has to be done. I'm sorry for the trouble. I'll meet you again at noon tomorrow. Thank you._

Turk's finger again found its way to the machine, shutting it off completely this time. No one says anything, the muffled sound of the busy city around us feeling the hostile silence.

I feel my breath catch in my throat, a chilling fear making its way back into my lungs. How stupid could I be? How could I forget the soul reason I'm in this mess. My heart begins to race inside my chest, legs becoming too weak to support me. I fall against the back of the couch. Horrible images attack me, the fear spreading rapidly. I squeeze my eye shut, trying to block it all out; his soft touches, his twisted smile, those heated, crazed eyes, His loving words and his harsh ones, His hands crushing my neck, the gun knocking against my skull, the poison spreading into my blood stream, his lips on my arm. Bile rises in my throat.

He's still out there. He was always out there. While I was lying in that hospital bed, completely helpless, nearly dead he was somewhere near, searching for me, waiting for me, _wanting_ me.

A shiver rocks violently through my body, knees buckling and hitting the ground. Warm hands latch onto my shoulder, pulling me into a warm embrace.

I sob into Turk's shoulder. I don't have to explain my self. Turk knows; he was there. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. Slowly, He adjusts us into a better position; his back now supported by the couch my body in his lap. Holding me tightly, Turk rubs my back up and down, whispering comforting words into my ear.

"Its okay JD," he soothes. "You're safe, I'm here and I'm going to protect you. You're safe…"

I only sob harder. I'm never going to be safe.

* * *

Kinda Angsty. Sorry about that

....Actually I'm not haha! I'm evil that way! Next chapter is where it get juicy. Time to find out about the mind of Mr. Stalker. Maybe even a name

Still up in the air though. REVIEW!!


	8. Statements

**okay.....This took awhile...and for that Im am sooo flippin sorry! But in my defense, School kinda ninja attacked me and I havent been able to do too much for the pass two weeks. Sigh it really sucked**

**So I made this longer than usual and I hope all of you enjoy. Thank you for waiting!!**

* * *

When Carla walked through the door late that night, what she saw was the last thing she had expected. The nurse wouldn't have been surprised to see the two best friends goofing off in the living room, watching some old 80's sitcom. She wouldn't have blinked an eye if they were dancing around, acting like a bunch of idiots. Hell, she probably wouldn't have been fazed if they tried to play some stupid prank on her.

However, her husband was sitting on the floor, staring forward with clouded eyes with JD's frail form clutched to him made Carla's heart fall deep into her stomach.

She was by her their sides in an instant, her purse and keys dropped onto the hard floor loudly, but even the sound metal striking wood or her bag plopping on top of them didn't register to her husband. "Turk," Carla became frantic while her cold hands grasped the dark man's face and jerked it forward, so their eyes met.

Turk finally seemed to see his wife, and her heart broke as the usually strong man's face broke into a painful, almost pathetic expression; his bravado fading as a tear slid down his cheek.

"Honey," her voice was careful and loving, "baby what's wrong? What happened?"

His voice was thick, "That detective…Harris woman called." Turk took a measured breath, "Left a message about the case. JD heard it all. He freaked out."

Carla's expression wavered from concern to confusion, "What did she say?"

"The case turned south. They found something apparently disturbing," Her husband's expression became dark. "They're going to take JD's statement tomorrow at noon."

Now it was the wife's turn to get angry. "Excuse me? Tomorrow! That's too soon… it's JD's first day back Kelso would never allow it!"

"Oh he would, and he did. It's going to be held at the hospital."

For the next minute or so Carla shouted in Spanish, causing a slow grin to break on the man's face as he watched the beautiful pissed off woman pace around the apartment in an outrage. He was glad he wasn't on the receiving end of those curses.

In his arm's JD began to stir. He looked down at his newly feminine friend, watching her eyebrows knit together. His smile immediately faded.

"I'm worthless."

Carla stopped venting, looking at Turk in surprise.

His voice wavered as he continued, "What kind of man am I, to let my best friend suffer like this. I'm supposed to protect him; especially now, when he's at his weakness. God Dammit every time something else happens to hurt him, things I can never stop! No matter how hard I try! Fuck I'm so useless!"

"Turk," Carla sat down beside him, "you have to stop blaming yourself. What happened was not your fault. What's happening right now, to JD, it's going to get rough. And he'll need you. He'll need all of us. We all have to stay strong." She looked at JD, eyes becoming misty, "Because if were not, we'll never be able to help him through this."

Turk laid his head on her shoulder. "I love you so much."

She smiled, laying her head on top of his. "I love you too baby."

Unknown to the pair JD's eyes had fluttered half open, half consciously taking in some of their conversation. Half lidded eyes watched the two in silence a soft smile appearing on the watchers lips. After a few moments, heavy lids fell again, and JD fell back into a more peaceful sleep, his two best friends looking silently after him.

00000

_If I were a boy, even just for the day, I roll out of bed in the morning and put on what…_

As the lyrics pull me into consciousness, my eyes snap open. I glare daggers at the alarm clock two feet away from me. Bold red numbers display 5: 45 in my face. Of course the radio is playing this song on this particular day! Damn you Beyonce Knowles and your instant hits!!

_How it feels to love a girl, I swear I'd be a better man…_

"You and I both Beyonce," I groan, extend my aching arms and hit the snooze button a little too hard. I roll onto my back, the sky still dark outside of my bedroom window.

Wait…how did I get in my room? The last thing I remember was…oh crap. I pinch the brim of my nose, eyes squeezing shut. I passed out in Turk's arms, bawling my eyes out, after hearing that message yesterday.

A part of me knows that I had a right to freak out and act like a crazy person. And a part of me knows Turk didn't mind to comfort me, to try and protect me. But dammit do I feel like a dumb ass. I know that it's okay to feel helpless about this, but God I just fell apart! I locked up all thoughts of that man, the dick who put me in this situation in the first place. And then realizing he was still real, still free, fuck I just can't take it.

With a groan I sit up, realizing that my clothes had been changed. Instead of the dress I'm now wearing a familiar pair of Sponge Bob boxers and an ACDC shirt. Some of my favorites; it felt nice to be in familiar clothing. I frown slightly. Turk had better not snuck a peek.

I flop out off the bed and head into my bathroom, taking a hot pleasant shower. One bittersweet thing about bathing in a woman's body was yes, it was more fun, but hair was a bitch to dry. Plus side was my hair was thin and it didn't take long at all to dry. Negative side was when it did dry; it looked like I had a lion mane.

I stare at myself in the mirror, a towel still wrapped around my body and hair sticking up all over the place. I can't go to work my first day looking like some psychotic moron. Man I miss my short hair!!! My heart rate becomes frantic.

"CARLA!! HELP!"

It takes an instant for the door to my room to slam, Carla barreling into the small bathroom. She was already dressed in her red scrubs, hair pulled back with a black clip.

"What's wrong Bambi?" She says tense, looking worried at me.

I whine, "I don't know what to do with my hair."

Carla stares at me for a second, a frown sliding onto her face. "That's why you screamed? God JD I thought someone…" she stops as both of our eyes are locking on one another. Suddenly my hair didn't matter any more.

"No." I mumble, tugging my towel closer to me. "It's…it's not that…"

"Baby!" Turk now runs in the room, "Is everything okay?!"

"Turk I'm naked! Get out!!" I shriek stepping out of his line of vision.

"OH Shit!" I see him whip his back around, nearly falling as he hurries back out. Carla rolls her eyes. "Sorry dude!! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…" I sigh "just having a bad hair day."

"It's not that bad," I can tell Carla's lying, "But I'll help fix it if you want."

"Please." I beg. She smiles, making me turn around and face the mirror as she began to brush out the tangles.

"How are you feeling?" her voice is so low I can barely hear it.

I shrug my shoulders, "Better than last night. Did Turk tell you?"

"Yes." I can feel her hesitate. "And both of you were still lying by the couch when I came in last night."

A wave of guilt hits me. Damn, how long did Turk lay there with me? "I'm sorry about being so much trouble Carla." The words slip out of my mouth, her brush stopping at mid stroke. "If I wasn't so damn pathetic,"

"Stop right there JD," She forces me to face her, "God you and Turk! Do you even realize what you went through! Nobody expects you to be at a hundred percent. You are going to have moments of weakness; everybody does. And when you do we will be here for you. You're not a burden. We want to help you through this. You're our family and we love you." She wraps her arms around my mid section closing the distance between us. "You have been so strong JD; stronger than any of us could have been. I'm so proud of you."

Tears begin to gather in my eyes hugging the woman closer to me. "I don't know what I would do without you Carla."

"Me either. You're my little Bambi."

I grin holding her tighter. "Yes I am."

After a moment or two, we break from our embrace. She smiles at me. "Come on and let's get that hair fixed."

"Should we attempt make up?"

Carla fails to hide a smile, "I'm not sure. Are you going to go overboard on the lip gloss again?"

"Don't mock me woman, it was Very Cherry! The stuffs like crack!"

She laughs, pulling my hair back as she brushes it gently, reaching for a hair tie by the sink. I turn back to the mirror and let her work. I take a deep breath, my shoulders rising. Carla's right, I am strong, and I can handle whatever this Detective Harris can throw at me.

00000

11:45

I let out a puff of air as I glance at the clock. I lean against the nurse station tapping my pen absently on a patient's chart. Today has been slower than usual and right now I'm dealing with three annoying problems.

One; My new female name sucks. I look down at my new name tag in disgust, my feminine face smiling wearily back at me. Janie Donald. What the fuck. I feel like the farmer in the kid's song. I desperately want to sing 'eh eye eh eye oh!' every time I hear it! Thank God Carla was shadowing me today or I would have busted out in song.

It's not just that though. I don't want a new name. I hate the fact I can't be me anymore. Sure, I do every thing the same as before, but when the patients say 'thank you Dr. Donald' I feel… empty.

Problem two; the lacy hot pink panties I'm wearing are riding up my butt and I've been trying for like two hours not to pick them. Normal, sophisticated women would not have this problem, would just ignore it. But dammit it makes my hips itch! Must resist urge to scratch and pull… oh F it! I look down the hall and then pull at it, smiling as I am relieved of the annoyance.

"I saw that. And can you quit tapping that infernal pen?!"

My pen stops in mid air. Crap I forgot Laverne was here. I smile sheepishly at her.

"Its okay baby," She says sweetly smiling at me, "I know you are just nervous, it being your first day back. How would you like a sucker to calm those nerves of yours?"

I frown at her, stepping back from the station. "Who are you and what've you done with Nurse Roberts."

Her smile falls, "Carla told all the nurses to be extra nice to you today or she would put us on double shift for the next two weeks. And I'm not working over time because of you. Now take the damn candy."

I grab it up instantly. "Thank you!" I squeak ripping off the paper and sticking it in my mouth. Yuck, orange flavor.

"Oh there you are!" I turn sideways to see Ted shuffling quickly down the halls, a pile of files tuck under his arms. "Dr. Kelso told me to come get you, _Dr. Donald_," his voice goes up an octave on my fake name, both Nurse Roberts and I wincing, " The meeting you two scheduled is about to begin so,"

"Ted, you don't have to be cryptic no one else is even around." I sigh.

The lawyer glances nervously at Laverne, "what about her?" he whispers.

"Do you want me to pop you?" She glares at the other man.

Ted's eyes widen. "I believe it's time to go!" I shake me head, following his lead.

And here's problem number three; I have to go and talk with the Detective now and give my statement.

My legs feel like lead as I walk behind Ted. A lump develops in my throat. I don't want to go by myself. A part of me wants to page Turk or Elliot or Carla, but another part, my prideful part, says I can handle this on my own. I just have to tell the detective exactly what happened and that it. It's done. Nothing to be afraid of!

But I know that's a big fat lie.

"Ah there you are _Dr. Donald_" Kelso's voice breaks through my thoughts. I wish people would stop emphasizing that. I'm not gonna be able to control myself next time from singing. I look up from the ground and see the chief of medicine standing in the hall, beside him a woman that I suspect is none other than Detective Harris.

She was definitely not what I expected. The woman was older, but beautiful, her vibrant red hair pulled back into a pony tail. Her suit was very feminine, black heels to match the black tailored suit. A light lavender shirt was under it.

Detective Harris smiles at me, extending her hand, "Hello JD. It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Angelia Harris."

I gulp at the sound of her voice. It's friendly, but it held a commanding tone that made my shoulders tense. What made me even more nervous was that she used my nickname; like she knew me. She wasn't fazed by what she saw of what I was.

"Why don't we take this somewhere a bit more private," Kelso says, opening the door we were standing by, "This is usually where we hold board meetings, so it should be some what appropriate."

They all file in, except for me. I don't budge. I stare at them, looking downright terrified.

"Doctor," Harris voice sounds strain, "aren't you going to come in?"

I shake my head at them, biting my lip. I can't do it. I can't do it. I'm too afraid. I don't want to remember what happened, or that that sick bastard is still out there. I can't handle it. Not by myself.

A hand places itself on my back, a warm breath on my ear. "Come on Newbie. You can't stand out here all day."

Dr. Cox. My heart beats wildly. I look up at him startled, his usual cocky grin on his face.

"And what, are you doing here?" Harris's voice is sharp, startling me. I look at Kelso who shrugs amused.

"I'm her friend." He states looking back at the woman, Holy crap did he just call me his friend. He did. Oh my god I could break into my happy dance right now. No, save that for later, maybe for my next pee break. Hell where is the damn tape recorder when I need it. "And I'm going to sit in with her whether you like it o not."

Harris frowns but her tone grows softer. "I understand your concern Dr Cox, but this is private. I don't think it's necessary for you to,"

"Please!" I interrupt her, latching onto Cox's coat. I focus on my mentor, not caring what the other woman was saying. "Please don't go. I can't do this by myself. Please don't leave me."

His hand moves from my back to my shoulder, squeezing it, "I wasn't planning to."

Kelso butts in. "The guy does what he wants or makes a scene. Better just to let him stay detective."

The Detective nods solemnly not taking her eye off of us, "Alright then."

As they walk in ahead of us I whisper to my mentor, "Why was she giving you the evil eye just then?"

"Probably because when your bald lover got done giving information to the police she and I exchanged some unfriendly words." Dr. Cox's hand still on my shoulder we walk into the room, "Trust me it's better if you don't know."

Everyone sits in the plush chairs surrounding the mahogany table. Pretty nice set up in here. It would be pleasant if it wasn't for the situation. I take my seat, noticing the wheels at the bottom. Sweet action these are rolling chairs! I try to swing around but Cox's hand stops it. "Don't even think about it."

Harris takes a seat in front of me, holding a small notebook in her manicured hand. She clicks her pen loudly. "Alright, JD, I know this will be difficult," her gaze never leaves mine, "But I need you to tell me what happened on the night you were attacked."

I pause, unable to fully find my words. She says it so bluntly, without an inch of sympathy. I feel like a speck of dust in her eyes. I look at the table, foot beginning to tap nervously.

"Come on JD," Dr. Cox whispers leaning so close I thought I could feel his lips. "You can do this."

I believe him. God he barely said a full sentence yet every part of me is now filled with confidence because of his words. I find myself sitting a little straighter, my eyes finding the female detectives. Her thin eyebrow rises at my sudden mood change, herself sitting back.

With a deep breath I begin to tell them about that evening. I look straight at the woman, watching her pen scribble down what I was saying at such a fierce pass I could barely catch up. As I tell the story to them, I feel the stress building in my stomach ease. It was nice to let everything out in the open; even if the people hearing it were growing tenser by the second.

I spare a glance at Dr. Cox, and to anyone else his expression would give off nothing. But I know him better than anyone. So much that I don't miss the crackle or rage in his eyes.

I'm done faster than I thought. Harris wrote a few more words down then flips her book close, meeting my eyes with an unexpected pleasant smile. "Thank you Dr. Dorian. I know that it was hard for you, but I thank you for your cooperation." She starts to rise. "Now I won't take up anymore of your time,"

"Wait!" I say rising with her, until I see Dr. Cox's hand still latch firmly to my arm. I blush heavily, the next sentence coming out in a stutter, "Y-you mentioned something a-about the case," She stops, "I want to know….Wh-what has happened that's made you so urgent."

I feel both of my bosses staring at me. Harris's eyes become dark, and I wonder if I asked the wrong thing.

"….What has developed is a private matter." Detective Harris's voice is hard. "And it's probably best for your own safety to keep it under wraps."

"Lady," Cox glares at her standing along with us, "You can't just barge in here to ask for a statement because something dangerous you found out and not expect to warn us. Dr. Dorian deserves the right to know."

She glares daggers back, apparently not taking a liking to being called lady, "Dr. Dorian might not be able to handle it."

"He's was turned into fucking girl for gods sake and he's taking it pretty damn well!" his hands come down hard on the table, "I known the kid longer than you and trust me he can handle it."

Her arms fold in front of her, a coy smile playing on her pink lips, "And what makes you so sure about that."

He matches her smile, "Because he's my protégé. And I've taught him everything I know."

The grin that appears on my face is so big you would think my face split in two. He admitted that I was his protégé. He finally said it! And in front of witnesses! Holy Cow tonight's journal entry is going to be the shit!

During the two Alpha's stare down I hear Ted whisper nervously to Kelso, "Don't you think we should do something before they rip each other apart?"

"Are you kidding?" Kelso chuckles quietly, "This is better than my stories." He coughs loudly drawing the two attentions towards him. "I think Perry is right. We should be able to hear why this meet and greet was so urgent. And," he snaps his fingers at the sweating lawyer, Ted fumbling for something in the worn down briefcase by his side. He produces a rather large file to the Chief of Medicine. Dr. Kelso practically sneers, "I would like to know why you had a third of my staff hunt down medical files that may or may not exist. Which to answer your question they do."

Detective Harris stares at the manila folder, her eyes showing a bit of dread and excitement, "So you did find something."

"Mind sharing with the class?" Cox says earning him a quick death glare. God I think she might be scarier than Carla and Jordan combined.

Kelso pulls the file closer to his chest, "Well Detective?"

"I could just get a warrant you know."

"Where's the fun in that?" both men say together. Ted and I share a look. They were really pushing it.

"Detective Harris," I join in, sounding sincere, because hell I was, "Please. I just want to know. I understand the circumstances. But I can't live thinking that I'm safe when it's obvious I'm not."

Her face actually softens at my words. She plops back into her seat, an irritated sigh escaping. "Fine then, I guess I have no choice but what I say is strictly off the record and cannot leave this room." Harris shakes her head, "I honestly don't understand how you work with these people."

I simply shrug. "You learn to love them."

I miss the light blush crossing Dr. Cox's face.

She smiles again, though it fades as she leans back into her seat, eyes becoming serious. "As you probably already guessed, we have not located your attacker," I nod, "but thanks to your friend's statement and his session with a sketch artist we've been able to come up with a name."

"The man who did this is named Joseph Bell. He's a 38 year old man you went missing about two years ago. Divorced; Ex-wife reported him missing when he didn't meet her to pick up the kids."

My mouth goes dry, my body starting to tremble. This monster had a wife, had children?! Bell, that's such a simple name. It's so normal. I grasp at my scrubs, burying my fingers into the fabric. I think I'm going to be sick.

Dr. Cox stands behind me, his hands warm on my shoulders, like he's protecting me. It's the only thing that's keeping me from falling apart.

"Dr. Bell use to be a respectable scientist. Had a few paper's published. Man was a genius actually. Like by most of his colleagues. But his old assistant said those months before he went missing that he had started to become agitated, angry with everything. He had been working on something secret, slaving over it and neglecting his real work. He became so engrossed with this that they finally fired him and his wife left him." Our gazes lock onto each other, "I guess I don't have to explain what that experiment was."

I feel my stomach drop. Cox's hands become tense.

"I don't understand?" I ask, my voice shaky, "Why did he want to perform this…experiment so bad. And why choose me?"

"We aren't too sure about the whys, but we did recently fid out something." Harris hesitates, choosing her words carefully. It seems …. It seems that he has been watching you for quite sometime. Dating back to before he went missing."

"What?" My voice doesn't carry. Everything around me begins to shatter. I can't see straight. Bile is rising in my throat, my chest burning. I'm shaking. Hands squeeze me tightly, pulling me back into reality and not letting me fall into that horror again.

"Jesus Christ," Keslo looks pale, hands forming into fist. Ted looks as though he might faint. I don't have to know what Dr. Cox looks like. I can tell from the waves of rage bellowing out of his body that he is not happy.

Harris turns her gaze to Kelso, "That is where the file comes in. I need to know if the Bell family has been into this hospital at anytime from after the divorce and when he went missing."

He nodded handing the slim folder towards her, "Here don't know if these will help. They are about a dozen of files."

With a speed I have never seen, Dr. Cox snatches the files away from Harris, knocking me almost the ground as he rips one of file open, the rest spilling on the table.

"What the hell!" Harris bellows furious, scrambling to retrieve the others. "Are you bi-polar or something, these are not for you to look at! They're classified! Hey!"

"If you haven't been paying attention to anything I am a doctor at this hospital and technically," he throws the one he was looking at on the table, grabbing another, "I can look at these files whenever I damn well please."

I think the detective's going to rip her hair out, "Listen to me you pompous bastard I don't come in to your patient's and stick and IV in them, so how about you quick trying to do my job!"

"Ted, go get the popcorn I feel this is about to heat up."

Cox rolls his eyes, flipping through another file, "Relax banshee I'm not trying to take over your pathetic excuse of a job. I'm just trying to see," he stops; his attention focuses solely on what the file holds in front of him, "Oh Jesus."

Harris look turns to confusion, everyone staring at the eerily silent man, the color slowing draining his face.

"Perry?" Keslo is standing close to the detective now, "What is it?"

"Did you find something," Harris's voice is slow and worried. I just stare at my mentor, nerves eating at my stomach.

His gaze locks on mine his eyes watering. My heart skips a beat. "Yeah," he hands the file to Harris never looking away, "I think I did."

My eyebrows scrunch together watching Detective Harris take the file, matching my expression. I lean in too, reading what I can from my position.

Maggie Bell, age eight, sprained her ankle during ballet practice. It was dated back about two and half years. That's not a big deal case, so why would Cox be freaked about it?

Then I see it, why everyone is upset. I find myself staring at the parent's signature. The handwriting is terrible and almost impossible to read, but it jumps out at me like a neon sign, sending a cold paralyzing chill down my spine.

Joseph Bell. The girl was his daughter.

"Perry," Dr. Kelso says almost carefully, "you were the Bell's girl assigned Doctor."

"Yes," Dr. Cox answers tonelessly, my shocked gaze finding his, "This is my fault."

* * *

**(backs away slowly) Alright then. Until next time...BYE!!**


	9. Rushing Waters

(cough) uh... Hey there, long time no see hehe...

Okay I know its been like a freaking long ass time since I have uploaded a new chapter (Like I do not want to know how long because it will only make me sad) but I have a VERY VERY GOOD Reason/s to why which I wil list:

1. I was working on the spring musical. It turned out AMAZING.

2. I fell for the main guy in the play and we started to hang out

3. Main guy 'supposedly had a girlfriend and was also allegedly a manwhore so I stopped talking to him

4. started to crush on some one else from the play

5. Find out too late that he had a girlfriend as well

6. guy one never had a girl friend, i was lied too and it turned out that he really did like me.

So basically.....a big ass Cluster Fuck/ HUGE awkard turtle

So that is the Drama that is my life :) but fortunatley all of the anger and stress gave me passion and energy to write this is a total of five and a hal hours. I hope you enjoy and I promise to write more faster and sooner. Can't let boys get your panties in a twist....or at least try hard not too.

* * *

"_This is my fault."_

"Dr. Cox?" My mouth is dry as I say his name, chest tightening. What was he talking about? How is any of this his fault?!

"What do you mean this is your fault?" Harris asks carefully. Kelso says nothing but from the way he's staring at us it seems he's eager for Cox to explain as well.

Cox stares at me carefully. "JD, I need you to listen to me. Do you remember a few years back… a little girl that hurt her ankle at dance practice? I made you sit with her until her parents showed up. Until her _father_ showed up?"

I shake my head, "That was so long ago, how could I—"Then it hits me like a truck stopping my sentence. I look back at the file, the name Maggie going off like a siren. That day was so ordinary, nothing of value to even recall it. Yet here it comes crashing back into the present, revealing to be the key source to the horrid nightmare.

Mine and Dr. Cox's gazes lock, my voice not above a whisper. "I remember."

00000

_Two Years Ago…_

_My shoes made a squeaking noise as I slid down the hall, trying to run from the Janitor. Of course the one person who had to walk by when I was doing the Hokey Pokey with some of the kids was that creep. And right when it was 'you put your right out'. Down he went! Didn't help that the children all started laughing….including me…._

_I ducked under the nurses' station when I heard heavy footsteps round the corner a snarl echoing in my ears. "Where'd that little creep go?" _

"_If you're talking about Bambi," Carla stood in front of me covering my ass like the fearless goddess she is, "he ran passed a few seconds ago huffing something about the morgue."_

"_The cartoon deer is in our morgue?" I roll my eyes at the comment, "How is that even possible?"_

"_I meant Dr. Dorian." _

"_Oh. Thank you Spanish nurse." I imagined the Janitor nodding at her as he rushed passed, pushing an intern roughly out of his path. _

"_Boob," Carla grumbles under her breath. "Might want to lay low today JD. He looked pretty feisty."_

_That didn't make me feel any better. I whine as I crawl out from underneath the counter, "I'm not three hours into my shift and I've already have a death threat."_

"_You are gonna have a lot more than a threat in about two seconds there Sandra Dee," I felt Dr. Cox's hand on my collar jerking me backwards. "I have paged you twice in the passed ten minutes Newbie and you have better not have been ignoring them because you were playing hide and seek with the Janitor."_

"_I was running for my life!" I defended, "Besides I didn't hear it go off."_

"_Probably because it's not on you," Carla pointed out amused. All eyes travel to my side where my beeper usually occupied but now it was just thin air. Huh, probably why I turned those corners a lot faster. "Guess you left it in the children's infirmary." _

_The grip on my scrubs became tighter. I gulped. "Carla!" _

_She simply shrugged, trying to hide her smile by looking at her paperwork, "Sorry Bambi already saved you once today."_

_Traitor!_

_Dr. Cox tugged me away from the nurse station to safety and down the hall. His grip was still on my collar and it was making it hard to breathe, "D-r--Dr. Cox!!"_

"_Shut it Frenchy I don't want to hear it." He stopped, jerking me forward so we were face to face, "It doesn't shock me that you left your pager, hell you're so air headed it amazes me that you remember to dress properly in the morning. But Dammit Jan if you don't start paying attention to your surrounding your gonna really miss something important-- like accidently tripping the janitor or leaving your pager lying around-- and you won't have Carla or me to help your pathetic ass. So snap out those girly little fantasies and start paying attention to your damn surrounding! Got it?"_

_I nod eye wide. Dr. Cox let out a growl and released me striding ahead and leaving me to catch up. Once I get close enough I ask, "Uh, Dr. Cox? Did… have you watched Grease lately?"_

_He stares at me. "Excuse me?"_

"_I mean you've been referring me to all the pink ladies in Grease today so I thought that maybe"_

"_Stop what you are saying right now before I do something that you might regret."_

_So that means yes. I slow some so he won't see the huge smile across my face. So he's a closet musical lover. Knew it!_

_Soon were outside of one of the exam rooms, sniffling echoing softly from the outside. Before I could ask Dr. Cox turns to me, his voice low. "Alright Newbie, the reason why I paged you was because of this little girl. Her dance instructor brought her in because she twisted her ankle during practice. Apparently the mom's out of town and she can't get a hold of her dad. And she couldn't stay because of some stupid reason I didn't care to pay attention to but long story shot is the girl is alone for now. I've already had one of the nurse's call the dad, but I'm not sure how long it's gonna take for him to get his ass here," Cox's eyes narrow slightly, "and since you do fairly well with the patients—oh wipe that damn grin off your face—I was thinking you could watch her for now."_

_I frowned at him, "Wait, you want me to babysit for you? Why not get an intern or nurse?"_

"_I don't like to repeat myself Rizzo but"_

"_You are referring to the Pink Ladies!" I interrupt._

_Dr. Cox's growled the rest of the sentence, "But you are one of the few people I actually trust with my patients so take it as a damn compliment and get your ass in there."_

"_What about my patients?"_

"_I'm gonna take them. Probably have a better chance of living." He sneered. Before I could object my mentor's hand slapped my back hard, pitching me forward and into the room._

_A little girl about eight or nine was sitting on the exam table, sandy blonde hair tied into two high pigtails. She wore a black leotard with white tights, though the left foot's had been cut to the knee, her ankle bound tightly. She looked up startled, big olive eyes filled with tears._

_She was the cutest damn kid I've ever seen. _

"_Hey there," I smiled warmly stepping towards her, "I'm AHH!" I ended up tripping over my foot, sprawling onto the floor an inch away from where the little girl sat. _

"_Graceful move there princess," Cox said deadpanned from behind me. I heard a small giggle from the kid. Dammit._

"_Hey there Maggie, this is Dr. Dorian. He's going to stay in here with you until your parents show up." _

_As I was sitting up, tears began to fall down her cheeks. "I want my mommy and daddy…"_

"_Hey it's okay," I stand up fully moving to where our eyes met, "I bet being here all by your self is pretty scary huh?" she nodded. "You know when I was little I could barely walk into a doctor's office with out bursting into tears." _

_I heard Dr. Cox scoff from behind me but didn't listen. Maggie sniffled, "Really? But you're a doctor now."_

_I nodded. "I know, because I realized that doctors weren't mean at all. Take Dr. Cox over there." I jabbed my finger at him, "Now at first glance he looks like a big old fat jerk? But once you get to know him behind all his muscle and permanent scowl, he's actually just a big softy. Aren't you Dr. Cox?"_

_He puts on a fake mega watt smile, "You betcha!" he leaned down and snarled in my ear, "You are dead after this."_

"_It was worth it." _

_Maggie giggled again and I think Dr. Cox smiled for real. "I better head out. Get one of the interns or nurses to get your pager back, then page when one of her parents shows up."_

_I nod and watch him walk out. "Dr. Dorian?" Maggie small hand latches onto my sleeve and I turn back to her, big green eyes bright as she gives a half smile, buck teeth showing. "Can we play a game?"_

_I smiled back at her. Damn she is too cute._

_I found a pack of cards in a nearby drawer and for the next half hour we played go fish, Maggie giggling and smiling brightly as I let her win game after game. She talked about her dance class the most, her pig tails bouncing up and down as she looked at me and back down at her cards. Somewhere between our third games an intern ran my pager back to me, repeating from my mentor that if I ever lose it again there will be hell to pay._

"_When is there not?" I sigh._

"_Dr. JD?" I told her to call me JD, easier for her to say, "Are you in Doctor Cox best friends?"_

_I look to the heavens, "Only in my dreams…"_

"_Because I think you are." She smiled, "Got any threes?"_

_I hand her a card that I 'accidently' revealed when the intern walked in, "Why is that?"_

"_Because before he left me he said he was going to bring a really neat person to come watch me, some one I would really like." She frowned. "But then he called you Amelia and stormed out when you didn't answer his black box thing."_

_My smile couldn't get any bigger. Today has just been full of surprises. _

_By about the fourth game I started to get nervous. Maggie has been sitting her for almost and two hours, with no show of her father. Of course she hasn't noticed, she was having too much fun with me. Either that or she wasn't used to it. I felt a small twinge of anger that some one would abandon such a sweet little kid like Maggie. We might have to call the police…_

_But right as those thoughts filtered across my brain, a male voice reverberated down the hall, both of our heads shooting up. _

"_Maggie!" A handsome man reached the door way, his light wavy brown hair disheveled and green eyes bright. His cheeks were flushed and sweet accumulated on his forehead from running. As he spotted the little girl his face seemed to brighten. "There you are pumpkin!"_

_Maggie's cards fell on the floor as the child tried to jump off the examination table. "Daddy! You came!"_

"_Whoa!" I scramble to catch her before her injured ankle hit the ground, "watch out sweetie you are going to hurt yourself again."_

_The man that must was Maggie's dad swept her out of my arms in seconds, holding her close to him brushing back her bushy pigtails, "Oh god Maggie I am so sorry! I got super busy with work and my stupid cell phone hasn't been working all week! Jesus that's no excuse…. I'm so so sorry pumpkin! I had no idea! Can you ever forgive me?"_

_She looked at him with a big toothy grin, "Can we go for ice cream?"_

_He matched his daughter smile. "Of Course and you can get the biggest ice cream cone as big as this building!"_

_Maggie's face lighted up and hugged her dad's neck tightly. "Daddy I had fun here!" she said into his shoulder, "Dr. JD took care of me and played with me! He was really nice." _

_I blushed as her father looked at me for the first time, guilt clear on his face. "Doctor I am so sorry to trouble you. I should have been here sooner."_

"_Don't worry about it Mr.?"_

"_Bell. Joseph Bell."_

"_Mr. Bell, John Dorian. And again don't worry; these things actually happen quite often." _

_He started to frown. "Father's actually leaving there eight year old daughter in hospitals for two hours is often?"_

_My smile falters. "Well they aren't always eight…."_

_He stared at me for a moment, wondering if I was joking or not, before a smile broke across his face. "Well that should make me feel somewhat better. Dr Dorian, thank you for taking care of my little girl." His smile fell, "What exactly is wrong? I just heard she was in the hospital before I barreled out of my office."_

"_Well technically I'm not her assigned doctor, I just watched her until you showed up. But from what I've been told she sprained her ankle." I pulled out my pager that one of the nurses' retrieved from where I left it. "Here, I'll page him for you."_

"_I'm sorry to take up your time."He sounded a little embarrassed. _

_I laughed, giving the pair a reassuring smile. "Trust me Maggie is way more fun then changing bed pans," Maggie laughed from her father's shoulder, Mr. Bell's smile widening to reveal is teeth. _

"_Dr. Cox should be here any minute so I'm gonna head out." I waved at Maggie, "Nice playing Go fish with you Maggie!" _

"_Bye Dr. JD!" Maggie waved happily. Joseph Bell extended his hand towards me and I accepted it, shaking it. "Good meeting you Mr. Bell. Take care."_

_Bell grinned warmly, slowly releasing my hand. "It was good meeting you too Dr. Dorian. Hopefully it won't be the last."_

_I didn't think about what he said as I smiled brightly back at him and walked out of the room, feeling warm from the father-daughter moment I had witnessed. If I had listened to Dr. Cox about paying more attention, I would have noticed then that while he was rocking his daughter in his arms that he was staring after my retreating form, his eyes hardening ever so slightly as ideas flooded his darkening mind. _

00000

"Oh my god," I moan feeling sick, my heart rate increasing inside my heaving chest. That can't be the same guy! That face; he doesn't even resemble that man anymore; his eye were so much warmer and his face wasn't so bright and kind, god his voice was even softer! How could some one change so drastically? God I wasn't even in the same room with him for 2 minutes yet he… he still.., "He….that sweet little girl….oh my fucking god!"

I didn't realize I was backing away from every one until my back hit the wall. I look up but can't really see any one, my mind still picturing the warm scene from two years ago. "He had introduced himself to me… we shook hands. He cared so much about his daughter. He was so normal… _What the Fuck?!_ How could that monster be him? How could some one so kind and caring do this! That girl…he abandoned her? His family? To do this to me? It's not true! You have the wrong man! Maggie…..That little girl…. How could…how could…"

"JD you have got to breathe!" Cox is holding me up, gripping my shoulders. I shake my head, hair wipping wildly. I can't believe it. I can't believe he was the same person. But it was true. Joseph Bell, that son of a bitch, was the same sweet man from that day so long ago. He left his family, his little girl, for his experiment…for me….for god knows what else.

"I did this," I cry suddenly slumping against Dr. Cox's grasp. "I ruined that little girl's life, that family, all because I didn't see. I should have known that the look he was giving me wasn't friendly, that there was something else there. I shouldn't have been so nice. I should have been more professional...that poor girl…I ruined everything for her…this is all my stinking fault…all my"

_**SLAP!**_

"DR. COX!!"

"PERRY! Good lord!"

My cheek stings from Cox's hand, my babble stopping in shock. Cox doesn't listen to Harris or Dr. Kelso's protest as he grabs the front of my scrubs and starts to shake me. I feel like I'm experiencing De Javu.

"You listen to me you little girly idiot!" His blue eyes are the darkest I've ever seen, his face beat red. "You did nothing! You hear me! What happen to that family has nothing to do with you! Bell is a sick fuck and you couldn't have done anything about it. You were in that room waiting for him under _my _instructions! None of this is or will ever be your fault! He is the one who did this. Not You!"

"But I could have,"

He bellows loudly, interrupting me. "NO! No No and further more No! Look me in the eyes JD and I mean it. You. Did. Nothing. Absolutely, positively,** nothing** wrong. Now repeat me."

"I did nothing wrong." It comes out as a pathetic mumble.

"NOW BELIEVE IT!"

I sob. "I did nothing wrong!" he lets go of me and I let my head falls against his chest, fingers grasping his white coat. I barely notice him tense. "I did nothing. I did nothing."

Dr. Cox's hand finds its way to my back, holding me just a bit closer to him. He presses his forehead against my head.

"I know kid. I know."

00000

Harris watched Dr. Cox try to console the young doctor, "I think we need to give them a moment." She whispered to the Dr. Keslo, moving silently towards the door. She didn't look back to see if the other two men were following, instead listening as the door shut quietly behind them. "Is there another place where we can talk, privately?"

Kelso came into her vision walking pass her and turn right, "My office is this way."

She nodded, her and Ted following in suit. None of them said a word on the short trip there, instead keeping to themselves. Soon they stopped at the door, Keslo opening it and Harris brushing passed him and taking a seat, sighing loudly, "I knew this would happen."

Ted raised a eyebrow as he shut the heavy door behind him, "that they would end up hugging?"

"Shut up Ted." Kelso glared at the sweaty lawyer. Ted's eye turned down, instead looking at his feet. Kelso looked at the female detective, taking a seat as well behind his desk. "And what pray tell did you know what was going to happen?"

"That he—she would go into hysterics on finding out who Bell was. It was foolish to tell her. Though now we have a better idea of where and how the trigger of his obsession with JD started."

Kelso nodded. "But why? Why target Dr. Dorian?"

"Probably because he was sexually attracted to him," Harris voice lowered as she said this, but Kelso heard it clear as day. And it chilled him to the bone. He could care less about a man being attracted to another man; hell his son had a new boa every other month. But this type of want that Bell has for the young doctor; he has seen his fair share of rape victims in his life to know what that sick bastard wanted. Seeing that innocence broken like that; he didn't even want to imagine it.

"I'm going to set a patrol car at Dr. Dorian's apartment with the Turks." Harris spoke suddenly, "Whether he wants to take a ride to work from them or his co workers is fine. And as long as he is in a group he most likely doesn't need to be followed. And if it's alright with you, I want two more set up here. And you will want to alert security and staff about the threat."

"I see were going on full alert." Kelso's face didn't betray any emotion, or the nervousness that was bubbling in his stomach. "Any particular reason why?"

Detective Harris thin eyebrows burrowed, "Thought it was oblivious."

"That Dorian's in danger yes, but it's also obvious that you aren't sharing everything. And unless I think there is a need, I rather not have_ two_ patrol cars around the hospital. Bad for business you know."

The woman glared daggers at him. This man was beginning to be a pain in the ass. But then again so was this case. Never has she been dealt something so bizarre; or has had to deal with so many ass holes at once. She didn't know whose worse-- this guy and Dr. Cox. Still they obviously care, even if they show it in very strange ways. Harris mentally sighed, giving in to Kelso's ridiculous bluff.

"There is evidence, let's just say, that Bell wasn't stalking JD just because of his experiment."

"Oh really, a bit obvious I would say and at all convincing." Kelso couldn't help but grin.

She growled. _Cheeky old bastard _"Alright then, you want to know? Two nights ago we found an old apartment where he had been spotted going in and out of. We didn't find Bell, of course, but what we did find was a lot worse.

"The wall was covered in pictures of Dr. Dorian. Dorian at the hospital, out with his friends, in his apartment, the mall; dated from months before. Everyone else's face is ripped out but his. A diary was located soon after under the floor board, things written about what he dreamed to do to that poor kid that would make even your black heart bleed." Harris leaned, up noticing the man's pace slightly paled. It was he turn to grin. "So do you think that two patrol cars are necessary?"

"No I don't." Kelso swallowed the lump in his throat. "Make it three instead."

Harris grinned, though there was no humor in it. "Glad to see you're on board."

* * *

Thanks to everyone that kept reviewing and asking me to write this. With out you and my fabulous beta I couldn't have done it :3 I love you all!!!


	10. The Truth Sinks In

Heh. Hi. It's been awhile hasn't it? Sorry about the delay, but I've been doing a lot this summer and well… guess that's no excuse. You want the real reason… I miss my beta. We usually have a class together and that's why our friendship and love for scrubs grew. She was always there to encourage me and threaten me with sharp art supplies if I wasn't close to finishing. This chapter quite frankly wouldn't be worth crap if it wasn't for her. So this chapter is dedicated to her and all of the readers still interested in this story. Enjoy with all your heart and soul!!!

* * *

I think I've cried so much in the past 24 hours that my stomach has begun to hurt and my head feels swollen.

I wince as a low throb erupts from my stomach and causes me to double over slightly. My head snuggles farther into Dr. Cox's muscular chest. I flush violently. Muscular and snuggle were probably not the best words to use in that sentence. His chest rises and falls steadily, his hand gliding slowly back and forth across my back. I sniff loudly, letting my full weight lean against him, aware that when I did so he stiffens.

Too quickly he pulls away, my body shivering from lack of contact.

"Think you can stand on your own?" He asks, his voice rougher than usual.

I barely hear Dr. Cox's words. I try to stop crying, but I just can't stop the tears from coming. I keep my eyes on the ground as I choke back a sob, wiping my face vigorously with my sleeve. I'm so embarrassed. First Turk and now Dr. Cox, I'm seriously losing my sanity. God I'm so pathetic, it's almost ridiculous.

"Come on Doris, let's go get you cleaned up," Cox grabs at my elbow but I jerk it away, crossing my arms over my chest as I take a step back. I don't have to look up to see his shocked expression.

My voice is still shaky, "It's okay. I can do it by myself." Again I wipe away the tears building up. '_Come on JD stay together. Try not to look so vulnerable.'_

"No offense Lucile, but you are two seconds away from crying a whole damn river and I _don't _think it would be very wise to leave you alone at this point."

I glare up at him. "I don't need your pity and I can take care of myself! Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm helpless."

He challenges my glare, and it definitely has more impact. "One, I do not pity other people. I don't waste my time with such a useless emotion. Second, its not that you're a girl- because Jackie as we've been over for about five years or so, in my eyes, you are and always have been a girl. It's the fact that you've been through hell and back in the pass month and have not had one damn chance to let it all soak in. That's gonna make you look helpless no matter what way you put it. Now you can go ahead and be the big bitch of the west or let me help you out, which is an offer that I don't just hand out."

This really isn't worth fighting about. I know it, and he knows it, but all the stress of today, yesterday, and just since the beginning of this whole stupid mess is making me irritable and bitchy. Honestly I don't want to deal with his sarcastic, dick wad attitude. I know deep down he really is trying, but I just can't be perceptive right now.

I stomp my foot, which I'll admit feels really childish, and begin to march towards the door. In the smug voice I have heard Carla use many a time I say, "Thanks, but I think I can live without one of your oh so rare sparkling hand outs Mr. Generous."

Oh, that probably just pissed him off. I wrench open the door, ignoring the dull pain hitting my abdomen and the low growl that comes from behind me. I march out of the meeting room, wincing as the pain doubles.

"Newbie, quit being a little brat and turn around." Cox half shouts quickly following me. Can't he get the hint that I really don't want to be around anyone? 'Especially him…'

"No!"

Not really one of my most mature comebacks. It didn't cause Dr. Cox slow down.

Well, I am not turning around nor am I stopping for his majesty. If I want to storm off and be pissy then I will. I don't need him to shadow me like I'm something fragile. Tears start to run down my cheeks again. God, my emotions are on the fritz. I try to wipe the unwanted tears away, which is actually pretty hard to do when moving at a brisk pace and focus is required for safe travel. So unfortunately, I didn't see the janitor _innocently _mopping off to the side. My foot hit the wet floor and shot up in front of me. I let out a yelp as my head careened towards the ground.

In my peripheral vision, I see hands catch my upper arms, holding me just inches above the ground. I gaze up, seeing a very annoyed Dr. Cox looking back. My ears turn red, heat running down my neck. Dammit! Why is he always the one to save me in the nick of time?

"I swear Newbie you are worse than a toddler." He looks over at the Janitor. "Hey missing link! Next time put up a wet floor sign! You're going to get some one hurt."

The man looks up from his mop, leaning on it as he spoke, "Well we are located in a hospital correct? So technically I'm just creating more business for you."

From our awkward position Cox and I stare at him incredulously.

He smiles. "You're welcome," And goes back to work as if nothing happened.

"Dear God." Dr. Cox groans. He turns his attention back to me, hauling me back to my feet. He doesn't however let go of my arm, tightening his grip, "Now Suzie-Pouts-A lot, you need to come with me."

Before I can protest, he leads me into a nearby storage closest, closing and locking the door behind us. A deep blush comes across my features. I've never, even in my strangest fantasies have been lock in a storage room with Dr. Cox. _Not that I ever had a sexual fantasy about Dr. Cox!_ It's just very dirty things happen in these types of places. I take a nervous gulp.

He turns towards me and I squeeze my shut, tensing my body up for what ever the older man is planning. Please let it be painless.

"Making a wish there Newbie?"

I peel an eyelid open, Dr. Cox staring at me with one eyebrow amusedly quirked. I look down embarrassed, watching his hand rummage through one of the smaller compartments, pulling out two packets of bacterial wipes. I frown as he rips one open.

"What are you going to do with that?" I ask nervously. I hope he doesn't plan on gagging me with it.

"I'm gonna wipe off the mascara running down your face. You look like a homicidal clown." He knits his eyebrows together, "why do you have make-up caked on you anyway?"

"Carla wanted to…" aka I encouraged her to.

Cox scoffs, "yeah like it wasn't your idea from the beginning."

I hate it when he does that.

"Here hold still, you don't want this in your eye." He stands close to me, our bodies' inches away from each other. Cox cups my cheek with one hand, the other rubbing the cool cloth gently on my face. My body goes rigid, heart catching in my throat. Do not, under any circumstances meet his gaze. This is tense enough as it is being where we are.

I banish the thoughts away, a strange weight settling in my gut. What am I thinking? Like Dr. Cox would ever try something kinky with me! He can barely stand me let alone be attracted to me. He's as straight as they come. All he's trying to do is help out. Carla probably threatened him to do so- the scary bitch. Yeah, there's no reason for me to get all jumpy.

Then, why can't my heart stop pounding.

Dr. Cox stops. "Hey Callie, are you okay? You're crying again."

Dammit, I didn't even notice tears sliding down my cheeks. I bite my lip, holding back a sob. "Sorry," I manage to choke out.

"Newbie it's fine, really."

I just nod, "I know…I just can't seem to stop." The room becomes stuffy, Cox standing too close to me. I can't do it anymore. I can't be around him. In a quick movement, I g**r**ab the wipe out of his hands, curling it into my fingers. "You really don't have to help me Dr. Cox. You have patients to take care of. I can do this by myself."

A terrifying sound builds in his chest, my head snapping up as take a step back. He matches my movement, stepping way too far in my personal space. "I just don't get you Newbie. You are constantly bending over backwards to get my attention, and now that I am finally giving it to you, you start freaking out! Get it through that thick skull of yours; No matter how much you try I am not going to leave you. "

"Please stop saying things like that!" I yell. I try to move further back but my shoulder is stopped by a shelf.

He crosses his arms slowly, an eyebrow rising in the usual Cox fashion. "Like what Taylor?"

The words just tumble out of my mouth, my mind too tired and weak to have the will power to hold them in. "You…you keep doing all theses things, and saying all this stuff. I don't know why but it makes me feel…feel something I shouldn't feel for you. You're my idol; but here recently, that thought of you has been muddled and I…and I," it's becoming harder to breathe. "I don't know what to do."

I stand there, head down and eyes shut tight. 'Why did I say that? Oh my god, he is going to think I'm a nut ball. Shit. What the hell is wrong with me! Why can't I handle myself around him? Cox isn't talking, but he isn't moving either. I probably creeped him out so much that he's tempted to either shout physically injure me or walk away. Perhaps all three!'

"JD,"

Oh god, please don't say my name.

"look at me."

I'm so weak. I can't even ignore one simple command from the man. I really am a lapdog when it comes to him. I discover his face hovering dangerously close to mine as I look up and into his arresting eyes. The tension in the room builds around us, our equally piercing gazes locked. Nervous jitters form in my stomach; a feeling I have never felt towards any one before his hands come up, gently cupping my face, fingers gently swiping away the tears.

"What are you doing?" My mouth feels dry.

Dr. Cox leans in closer. "I'm not too sure myself here Darla."

His lips press softly against my forehead, lingering for a few moments. I gasp softly, hands trembling at my sides. He travels down, brushing back some of my hair and leaving another soft kiss on my cheek. I kept my eyes shut tight, my whole body trembling. I think my heart is about to burst out of my chest.

I can feel his warm breath on my lips. Cox doesn't move any further than that, which makes me shake even harder. "JD," he breathes softly, my eyes fluttering open at the sound of his voice. His cheeks are about as rosy as mine, his blue eyes somewhat glazed. He doesn't say anything, but I know what he's silently asking. I also know that if we go any further, we are going to cross a boundary that will forever destroy our old relationship.

But looking into Cox's heated eyes, knowing his thoughts were just as clouded as mine, I really didn't care.

I release the hold on my scrubs, transferring them to dig into Dr. Cox's white coat collar. He looks down at them, then at me. I nod once, shuffling just an inch closer.

That's all Cox needed to see. His lips collided with mine, closing the distance between us. I feel weightless, colorful lights sparking under my lids. His arm snakes around me, our bodies pressed against each other. My fingers shoot up into his hair, burying into his curls. Our kiss deepens dramatically when my left palm pressing against his neck so he couldn't break away. Cox didn't seem to mind at all, his tongue gliding into my mouth. I moan softly. This is defiantly going down as the best kiss I have ever had.

Cox's other hand goes up to my ponytail, yanking the color elastic band until it snaps my hair tumbling down. I want to protest as his lips leave mine for a moment, pressing his cheek into my neck. "Dammit how this fucking girly shampoo has taunted me for years." He breathes in deeply, lips sucking down on my neck. My brain reels with ecstasy; I hope I'm still breathing.

As he comes back up, I catch his lips hungrily. I can feel him smile against me. Cox's hands come down to my sides, grasping both of my thighs and lifting me off the ground. He presses my back against the shelf, some of the contents falling. I wrap my legs tightly around him, our tongues dancing in each other's mouth. Dr. Cox hands rub up and down my sides, one deciding to latch itself in my hair, the other lifting the hem of my scrubs up, goose bumps appearing as his fingers touch my flesh.

A key sliding into a lock has never sound louder than at that moment. We immediately break our kiss, Dr. Cox dropping me and moving a few feet towards the right. I lean on the shelf because my legs are failing to receive the signal my brain is telling them. The door opens moments after with the Janitor peering inside.

"There you guys are!" The Janitor is grinning from ear to ear after his eyes adjusted to the faint light. "Oh, did I interrupt something?"

Elliot appears by his side, looking relieved when she sees me. "There you are JD, I was worried. Kelso and that detective woman have Turk and….Carla…."

I flinch as her eyes catch Dr. Cox, who is red in the face and curly hair more erratic than normal, and travel to me who looks equally as well. Now Elliot can be ditzy and down right insane some times but she was not stupid. She has made her way out of enough closets that her trained eye can detect when someone was interrupted; my looks and the marks on my necks are a dead give away. Her jaw drops, eyes widening and her face burning red.

"Holy frick,"

Elliot's stare and the Janitor's smug grin overwhelm me. A nauseated feeling working its way through my body, and I fight the urge to lower my head as my blush deepens. I hear Dr. Cox begin to stammer some lame excuse but it only makes things more obvious. The heated feeling was gone now, completely replaced by a sickening shame. I should feel happy or a least satisfied but I can't even attempt to conjure up those emotions. This is all too much to bear.

Before my mind can catch up with the hurt, I'm pushing pass Elliot, walking briskly away from that damn closet. Some one shouts my name, but I ignore it. I can feel something inside me break but I need to be some where I can escape everyone's pity.

'Definitely somewhere Dr. Cox can't follow me. '

I reach the girls bathroom in record time, locking myself in the last stall. I sit on the toilet, staring down at my feet. I've never felt this low before. I can't even bring myself to cry anymore, just loud, dry sobs. And of course the one person who could make me feel this low is the one and only Dr. Perry Cox.

It's funny that Cox is the one to make me feel like shit more than some obsessed psychopath. Not a 'ha ha' funny more like a, 'ironic stupid'. I've dated plenty of girls, some of them absolutely gorgeous and equally as amazing, and none of them have made me as angry or as happy as the bastard has.

I blink. Sitting straight up, I feel the rock of the porcelain from under me. Hold on, did I just compare Dr. Cox to my ex girlfriends? Holy shit I really am losing my mind. Those are two completely different categories. Girlfriends are- well girls for a start and Dr. Cox is my boss. And a guy!

'_A boss you just hard core made out with.' _

'Not now brain!'

'_Come on, think about it. You adore him. He can give you a small compliment that if it was any one else it wouldn't matter, but because HE said it, you are happy for a week. Everything you do you hope that some how Dr. Cox will notice and if he gets upset with you, you work to the point of exhaustion to make up for it. '_

'That's because I'm a hard worker.'

'_Then why can't you stay with a woman? It's always something small and insignificant but in reality it's because they are missing a certain quality that you can't get past. You can't get close because they are not the same as a certain arrogant bastard.'_

'That's not true.'

'_He kissed you…'_

I stare dumbfounded at the floor as something heavy sinks into the bottom of my stomach. We actually kissed. And it felt great. I felt something that I had never felt when it came to the other girls I've been with. Something I would have never been able to describe until now. And if I hadn't been turned into a woman, I probably would have never of felt.

'I'm falling for Dr. Cox.'

My mouth feels like it's full of cotton, heart skipping a couple of beats. The truth comes crashing around me, a prickly numb sensation going through my skin. "This can't be happening." I sob, fresh tears rushing to the surface. Everything in my life just got ten times more fucked up.

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Hope this was worth the long wait! Please review!!


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